After a tumultuous and bitter primary, America was offered an impossible choice between two amazing and wonderful people: Donald Trump and Joe Biden. It's the timeless tale of good versus evil, or evil versus good, depending on which political party you support.
Who will win this epic battle? Here's a review of the 2020 campaign to help you with your decision! The following list will pretty much tell you everything you need to know:
After a long and bloody struggle on the field of political battle, two heroes emerged, victorious.
Biden won the hearts of Americans with his endearing impression of a classic creepy uncle.
Trump won hearts and minds by fighting off impeachment, CHAZ rioters, and fake news at the same time, all while saving America from COVID lockdowns.
Some concerns were raised about Biden's record on race...
Biden Attempts To Appeal To Hispanics By Performing Authentic Mexican Hat Dance While Firing Pistols Into The Air
...and law enforcement...
...as well as his cognitive abilities.
But Biden put all concerns to rest after picking a woman of color as his running mate.
Kamala Harris quickly won the hearts of everyone in America.
Kamala Harris's Ratings Plummet As People Realize They'd Have To Listen To Her Voice For Next 4 Years
Biden's path to the presidency seemed even clearer after receiving a key endorsement from a little-known community organizer named Obama.
Meanwhile, Trump helped his campaign with this exclusive, must-read interview with The Babylon Bee...
Exclusive Interview: Trump Opens Up To The Babylon Bee On The Challenges Of Being The Smartest, Most Popular President Ever
...and by catching Coronavirus just so he could beat it.
The debates gave us a clear picture of what's so great about the candidates and their running mates.
The press went after Trump to promise a peaceful transfer of power if he loses...
Trump Suggests Replacing Unfair Elections With New System Where Eligible Male Heir Inherits The Presidency
...and his answers caused journalists to discreetly express a moderate amount of concern.
Op-Ed: What If Trump Refuses To Leave Office And Also What If He Grows Fifty Feet Tall And Shoots Lasers Out Of His Eyes?
Journalists also asked Biden a question or two.
The Democrat Party did its best to swing the election in their favor...
...and Trump responded by trying to swing the election in his favor.
In the final months, anonymous sources attempted to derail Trump's campaign...
...and a corruption scandal almost derailed Biden's campaign.
Luckily, Twitter was there to help!
The candidates gave their final appeals to voters.
Trump Aides Beg Him To Call A Lid After He Drinks 45 Cups Of Coffee And Campaigns For 237 Hours Straight
Finally, it was time to head to the polls!
Improved Voting Machine Will Ask If A Celebrity Told You To Vote So It Can Immediately Discard Your Ballot
That's the most comprehensive and accurate review of the 2020 campaign you'll find anywhere. We hope this helps you make the best decision possible! Be safe out there!
For our epic review of the insane Democratic primaries, CLICK HERE.