KISSIMMEE, FL—Biden made a campaign stop in Florida this week to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month and reach out to his favorite voters: the Hispanics. In an effort to appeal to the voters, he performed a cultural celebration of Hispanic heritage by dancing in a sombrero and fake mustache, eating a burrito, and firing a pistola in the air.
"Hey there, fellow Latinx!" Biden said. "Before I begin, I would like to show you my Mexican celebration dance which I will perform to the tune of 'La Cucaracha,' Enjoy!"
Biden then turned to a cassette player on the podium and pressed play. As the well known Spanish folk song began to play, Biden performed a dance in his traditional Mexican clothing he had recently purchased at a Spirit Halloween Store. Halfway through the performance, he yelled out, "You kids ain't seen nothing yet! Watch this!"
Biden then began to hop around and shoot an old fashioned Mexican pistola into the air. When he was finished, he sat down on the stage and ate a giant burrito for about 20 minutes.
When he was finished, the hall erupted in applause as the audience of several individuals stood on their feet to cheer the performance.
Biden knew he had nailed the performance, and that the Hispanic vote was in the bag. He was then put back on ice in the basement until he is needed to go win over other ethnic groups.