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· Mar 26, 2025
· 61
7 Ways You Too Can Achieve Trump's Perfect Orange Skin Glow
As the leader of the free world, President Donald J. Trump is a role model for all Americans. From his trademark hairstyle to his flawlessly orange co...

Politics
· Mar 26, 2025
· 62
'I Don't Know Why They Call Me 'Hot Wheels',' Thinks Governor Abbott While Launching Off G-Force Burnout Set Launcher Ramp
AUSTIN, TX - As he launched through the air off the G-Force Burnout Set Launcher Ramp, Governor Greg Abbott wondered aloud why a Democratic Representa...
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Jesus Calls On Followers To Eat Filet-O-Fish Sandwiches For 40 Days To Prepare For His Crucifixion
Theology · Mar 25, 2025
· 82

After Years of Debate, Theologians Now Agree That Lying To Your Dentist About Flossing Is Not A Sin
Theology · Mar 25, 2025
· 74

Disney Puts Rachel Zegler In The Vault
Entertainment · Mar 25, 2025
· 62

Democrats Estimate They Are Only One More Arson Away From Being Popular Again
Politics · Mar 25, 2025
· 58

Security Concerns As Trump Holds Strategy Meeting At Cracker Barrel
U.S. · Mar 24, 2025
· 72

The Official Babylon Bee Spider Identification Guide For Wives
Lifestyle · Mar 24, 2025
· 171
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Politics
· Mar 24, 2025
· 83
Elon Musk Disguises IRS Building As Tesla Dealership So Democrats Will Burn It Down
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Proponents of eliminating the federal income tax rejoiced today as Elon Musk cleverly disguised the Internal Revenue Service headqu...

Politics
· Mar 25, 2025
· 54
Investigation Reveals DOGE Had Just Laid Off The Guy Whose Job It Was To Make Sure Jeffrey Goldberg Wasn’t In The War Group Chat
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Elon Musk was quick to apologize Monday for DOGE mistakenly laying off the one government employee whose job it was to prevent jour...

Sports
· Mar 25, 2025
· 77
Perfectly Good Sports Game Ruined By Lady Announcer
CLEVELAND, OH - In a tragedy bemoaned by sports fans across the nation, a perfectly good basketball game between Golden State Warriors and Cleveland C...

World
· Mar 25, 2025
· 71
Darth Vader Accidentally Adds Admiral Ackbar To Holochat Planning Alderaan Bombing
MUSTAFAR - The Galactic Empire was forced into damage control mode this week after it was revealed that Darth Vader had realized that he had mistakenl...
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Christian Living
· Mar 19, 2025
· 121
DoorDash To Offer $2.99 Upgrade Where Driver Will Pre-Pray For Your Food
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - One of the country's most popular meal delivery services made a move to boost its market share among Christian customers this week...

Media
· Mar 26, 2025
· 52
Dork Journalist Just Happy To Be Included In Group Text For Once
U.S. - A dorky journalist experienced the thrill of a lifetime this past week, having finally been included for the first time ever in a group text.

Politics
· Mar 26, 2025
· 46
Another Security Breach: Hunter Biden Discovered To Still Be Living In White House Toolshed
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In another serious breach of White House security this week, Hunter Biden was discovered to still be living in a toolshed on the Wh...

Politics
· Mar 24, 2025
· 70
4D Chess: Genius Trump Leaks War Plans To 'The Atlantic' Where No One Will Ever See Them
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a stunning show of brilliant military strategy, President Trump has leaked his top-secret Yemen airstrike plans to The Atlantic ...
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Guy Sitting In Front Row At Church Obviously A Total Noob
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Are You Suffering From Toxic Masculinity? Know The Warning Signs
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Premium
· Mar 26, 2025
· 42
The Bee Does The Studio Ghibli Trend
Everyone discovered today that ChatGPT will take your photos and remake them in the style of Studio Ghibli. Of course, The Bee had to try it too. Let ...

Premium
· Mar 25, 2025
· 396
Open Discussion Thread: What Is An Underappreciated Movie That You Love?
It is a true crime that many good movies just don't seem to get the love they deserve. There are movies such as The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner...

Premium
· Mar 19, 2025
· 125
ODT: What Are You Most Excited To Ask God?
The Bee staff got to talking this morning about what questions we are most excited to ask God when we get to Heaven. We had some real doozies, such as...

Premium
· Mar 18, 2025
· 167
ODT: What Is The Best Video Game Console Of All Time?
It's no secret that the guys at The Babylon Bee love their video games. After a hard day's work of owning the libs, we often unwind with a good game. ...
Greatest Hits

Hillary Clinton: 'The Only Crime I Ever Committed Was Stealing The Hearts Of The American People'
Politics · Nov 12, 2018
· 24

Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces
Politics · Sep 28, 2018
· 33

CNN Uncovers Evidence Hero Dog Sniffed Dozens Of Butts Back In College
World · Oct 28, 2019
· 13

Jussie Smollett Offered Job At CNN After Fabricating News Story Out Of Thin Air
Politics · Feb 18, 2019
· 24

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