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Elon Musk Falls Into Crippling Poverty After Single Meal At Five Guys
AUSTIN, TX - Shockwaves were felt throughout financial markets late last night as inventor and entrepreneur Elon Musk was left totally bankrupt due to...
Life
· Mar 7, 2024
· 54
Man Sitting In First Class For First Time Pretends He Totally Knows What You're Supposed To Do With Hot Towel
U.S. - A man flying for the first time in first class was caught off-guard this week after the flight attendant handed him a warm, wet, lemon-scented ...
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Midwestern Town Considers Adding 4th Crushingly Mediocre Mexican Restaurant
Life · Mar 7, 2024
· 28
Aides Fitting Marionette Strings To Biden In Preparation For State Of The Union
Politics · Mar 7, 2024
· 39
Biden Proudly Announces He Has Eliminated Junk Fees For All Migrants Staying In NY Hotels
U.S. · Mar 7, 2024
· 66
With Daniel Penny Arrested, NYC Forced To Deploy National Guard To Protect Subway
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· 73
Libertarianism: Pros And Cons
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Op-Ed By David French: ‘Can You Believe People Used To Take Me Seriously?’
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Politics
· Mar 5, 2024
· 159
12 Terrifying Examples Of White Rural Rage
White rural rage is the deadliest threat to democracy that democracy has ever been threatened by. Every day, rage-filled rural whiteys are lying in wa...
Politics
· Mar 6, 2024
· 110
Raytheon Lowers Flags To Half-Staff After Nikki Haley Drops Out
WALTHAM, MA - A somber mood fell over one of the nation's foremost defense contractors this morning, as Raytheon lowered its flags to half-staff after...
Business
· Mar 6, 2024
· 81
Doritos Announces New Spokesperson Jared From Subway
PLANO, TX - In a show of solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community, Doritos has taken bold steps to build strategic business relationships with trans influ...
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· Mar 6, 2024
· 80
Travis Kelce Wonders If It’s Too Late To Ask Taylor Swift If She’s The One Who Sings 'Wrecking Ball'
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Life
· Mar 3, 2024
· 75
Woman Awakened From 5-Year Coma Reveals 8 Things She's Most Excited To Check In On
After falling into a coma back in 2019, one woman beat the odds and woke up five years later! Today for the Bee, she reveals the eight things she is m...
U.S.
· Mar 4, 2024
· 152
In Major Blow To Democracy, Supreme Court Rules Voters Can Vote For Favorite Candidate
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a stunning unanimous decision that dealt a shocking blow to democracy, the United States Supreme Court affirmed that people can ...
Politics
· Mar 6, 2024
· 68
Biden Congratulates His Opponent On A Hard-Fought Primary Race
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a brief statement to reporters following the Super Tuesday contests, a victorious President Joe Biden congratulated his opponent...
U.S.
· Mar 6, 2024
· 155
Local Man Thankful Americans Fought Revolutionary War So He Doesn't Have To Call Cookies 'Biscuits'
MADISON, WI - As he prepared to complete his lunch by enjoying a delicious chocolate chip cookie, a local man was profoundly thankful that American co...
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Premium
· Mar 6, 2024
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Office Buzz: Gina Carano At The Bee
Gina Carano came to the Bee office and shot an interview! Out of all the people that could bash our heads in, she is probably the sweetest!
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· Mar 4, 2024
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Open Discussion Thread: Were You A Mario Kid Or A Sonic Fanboy?
When we aging Bee writers were growing up, there wasn't any of this woke gay stuff in schools. No, the most important debate that raged on the playgro...
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· Mar 1, 2024
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For Once, We Want To Hear From YOU
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Travis is up to something...
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Greatest Hits
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· 91
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· 15
Paw Patrol Replaces Chase The Cop With Karl The Antifa Rioter
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· 58
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· 78
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