
Theology
· Mar 25, 2025
· 58
After Years of Debate, Theologians Now Agree That Lying To Your Dentist About Flossing Is Not A Sin
LOS ANGELES, CA - After years of fierce debate, theologians from all the major branches of Christianity have now come to an agreement that lying to yo...

Politics
· Mar 25, 2025
· 47
Democrats Estimate They Are Only One More Arson Away From Being Popular Again
U.S. - Despite record-low polling numbers among American voters, Democratic Party leaders were confident they could turn things around and estimated t...
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Jesus Calls On Followers To Eat Filet-O-Fish Sandwiches For 40 Days To Prepare For His Crucifixion
Theology · Mar 25, 2025
· 44

Investigation Reveals DOGE Had Just Laid Off The Guy Whose Job It Was To Make Sure Jeffrey Goldberg Wasn’t In The War Group Chat
Politics · Mar 25, 2025
· 43

Security Concerns As Trump Holds Strategy Meeting At Cracker Barrel
U.S. · Mar 24, 2025
· 69

Bernie Sanders In Trouble As Paid Rally Attendees Vote To Unionize
Politics · Mar 24, 2025
· 71

Shuttered Department Of Education Not Sure What To Do With This Warehouse Full Of Gender Unicorn Coloring Books
Politics · Mar 24, 2025
· 61

‘Snow White’ Beaten At Box Office By Middle School Recorder Recital
Entertainment · Mar 22, 2025
· 115
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Politics
· Mar 24, 2025
· 83
Elon Musk Disguises IRS Building As Tesla Dealership So Democrats Will Burn It Down
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Proponents of eliminating the federal income tax rejoiced today as Elon Musk cleverly disguised the Internal Revenue Service headqu...

Politics
· Mar 24, 2025
· 66
4D Chess: Genius Trump Leaks War Plans To 'The Atlantic' Where No One Will Ever See Them
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a stunning show of brilliant military strategy, President Trump has leaked his top-secret Yemen airstrike plans to The Atlantic ...

Lifestyle
· Mar 24, 2025
· 159
The Official Babylon Bee Spider Identification Guide For Wives
Hello wives, did you find a spider in your home? Do you know whether it's poisonous and deadly?

Entertainment
· Mar 24, 2025
· 93
Disney Quietly Cancels Live-Action 'Pocahontas' Starring Dylan Mulvaney
BURBANK, CA - After watching its latest feature Snow White suffer a disastrous opening weekend at the box office, executives at Disney have decided to...
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Christian Living
· Mar 19, 2025
· 104
DoorDash To Offer $2.99 Upgrade Where Driver Will Pre-Pray For Your Food
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - One of the country's most popular meal delivery services made a move to boost its market share among Christian customers this week...

Life
· Mar 22, 2025
· 149
9 Things To Look For To Make Sure A Chinese Restaurant Is Legit
Nothing beats great Chinese food, but how can you tell if the restaurant you just walked into is legit? Here are nine things to look for:

Politics
· Mar 22, 2025
· 87
Biden Announces Return To Politics With Bid For President Of Shady Oaks Retirement Community
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former President Joe Biden announced his intention to return to the world of politics with a bid for President of Shady Oaks retire...

Celebs
· Mar 21, 2025
· 116
Bill Burr's Cycle Syncs Up With Rest Of 'The View' Hosts
NEW YORK, NY - Actor and comedian Bill Burr broke down during a television appearance on ABC Thursday when his body went through some unexpected chang...
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Stimulus Delayed As Trump Insists On Personally Delivering Giant Check To Every American
Politics · Apr 15, 2020
· 12

Study Confirms Kids Who Lose At Dodgeball Are 'Total Dorks'
Sports · Jun 11, 2019
· 6

Alabama Girl Crushed As Mother Explains She May Never Have Opportunity To Kill Offspring
Life · May 16, 2019
· 12

Biden Approves Continuation Of Border Wall After Getting 10% Kickback From Construction Company
Politics · Oct 6, 2023
· 140

Newsom Announces Sweepstakes Where 5 Lucky Winners Get To Move Out Of California
Politics · May 28, 2021
· 65

Harvard Teaches Incoming Students Valuable Life Lesson That People Can Never Change
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Premium
· Mar 25, 2025
· 59
Open Discussion Thread: What Is An Underappreciated Movie That You Love?
It is a true crime that many good movies just don't seem to get the love they deserve. There are movies such as The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner...

Premium
· Mar 19, 2025
· 117
ODT: What Are You Most Excited To Ask God?
The Bee staff got to talking this morning about what questions we are most excited to ask God when we get to Heaven. We had some real doozies, such as...

Premium
· Mar 18, 2025
· 163
ODT: What Is The Best Video Game Console Of All Time?
It's no secret that the guys at The Babylon Bee love their video games. After a hard day's work of owning the libs, we often unwind with a good game. ...

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· Mar 11, 2025
· 328
What Was Your First Car?
Everybody remembers their first car! It's a rite of passage and your first step into a larger world. What was your first car? Leave a picture in the c...
Greatest Hits

Broward County Brings In Expert Consultant To Speed Up Ballot Count
Politics · Nov 13, 2018
· 19

Senate Asks Pelosi If She Can Send Over Copy Of Impeachment Articles Without Wine Stains All Over It
Politics · Jan 15, 2020
· 6

Hillary Clinton: 'The Only Crime I Ever Committed Was Stealing The Hearts Of The American People'
Politics · Nov 12, 2018
· 24

Democrats Warn That American People May Tamper With Next Election
Politics · Jan 23, 2020
· 15

Paw Patrol Replaces Chase The Cop With Karl The Antifa Rioter
Entertainment · Jun 11, 2020
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Walmart Now Requires All Shoppers To Wear Pants
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