
Crime
· Mar 27, 2025
· 110
9 Dangerous Weapons Being Confiscated By British Police
The British Constable is on the prowl, and he is rounding up dangerous weapons by the minute to keep England safe from all sorts of harm. God save our...

Theology
· Mar 27, 2025
· 60
Heaven Confirms Resurrected Bodies Of The Saints Will Be In The Style Of Studio Ghibli
HEAVEN - God confirmed this week that our heavenly bodies will look very similar to the aesthetic of animator Hayao Miyazaki, creator of Studio Ghibli...
Latest

British Prime Minister Announces Prosecution Of King Arthur For Pulling Dangerous Sword From Stone
World · Mar 27, 2025
· 67

'I Don't Know Why They Call Me 'Hot Wheels',' Thinks Governor Abbott While Launching Off G-Force Burnout Set Launcher Ramp
Politics · Mar 26, 2025
· 76

Jesus Calls On Followers To Eat Filet-O-Fish Sandwiches For 40 Days To Prepare For His Crucifixion
Theology · Mar 25, 2025
· 97

Darth Vader Accidentally Adds Admiral Ackbar To Holochat Planning Alderaan Bombing
World · Mar 25, 2025
· 73

Investigation Reveals DOGE Had Just Laid Off The Guy Whose Job It Was To Make Sure Jeffrey Goldberg Wasn’t In The War Group Chat
Politics · Mar 25, 2025
· 57

After Years of Debate, Theologians Now Agree That Lying To Your Dentist About Flossing Is Not A Sin
Theology · Mar 25, 2025
· 86
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Politics
· Mar 26, 2025
· 82
Hegseth Kicking Himself For Not Just Getting 13 Soldiers Killed And Giving $80 Billion In Weapons To Terrorists
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With lawmakers calling for Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth to resign over leaked Yemen attack plans, Hegseth expressed deep regre...

Sponsored
· Mar 26, 2025
· 95
7 Ways You Too Can Achieve Trump's Perfect Orange Skin Glow
As the leader of the free world, President Donald J. Trump is a role model for all Americans. From his trademark hairstyle to his flawlessly orange co...

Politics
· Mar 26, 2025
· 103
Jasmine Crockett Says She Was Just Criticizing GOP Policies When She Called Gov. Abbott 'Honky Boy In The Wheelchair Whose Legs Don't Work No More'
U.S. - Texas Representative Jasmine Crockett is under fire for comments made during a banquet in Los Angeles where she referred to Texas Governor Greg...

Life
· Mar 26, 2025
· 69
State Farm Now Offering Optional ‘Car Torched By Psychotic Purple-Haired Weirdo’ Coverage
U.S. - State Farm has begun offering optional extra car insurance coverage for protection against customers' cars being torched by psychotic weirdos w...
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Politics
· Mar 24, 2025
· 87
Elon Musk Disguises IRS Building As Tesla Dealership So Democrats Will Burn It Down
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Proponents of eliminating the federal income tax rejoiced today as Elon Musk cleverly disguised the Internal Revenue Service headqu...

Media
· Mar 26, 2025
· 59
Dork Journalist Just Happy To Be Included In Group Text For Once
U.S. - A dorky journalist experienced the thrill of a lifetime this past week, having finally been included for the first time ever in a group text.

Politics
· Mar 26, 2025
· 59
Another Security Breach: Hunter Biden Discovered To Still Be Living In White House Toolshed
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In another serious breach of White House security this week, Hunter Biden was discovered to still be living in a toolshed on the Wh...

Sports
· Mar 25, 2025
· 81
Perfectly Good Sports Game Ruined By Lady Announcer
CLEVELAND, OH - In a tragedy bemoaned by sports fans across the nation, a perfectly good basketball game between Golden State Warriors and Cleveland C...
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DOJ Sues Texas Saying It's Against The Law To Pass A Law To Enforce The Law
Politics · Jan 8, 2024
· 116

Governor DeSantis Signs Controversial Bill Declaring The Sky Is Blue
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· 95

Accordion Player Denied Spot On Worship Band Again
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Jesus Thinking Those Guys In The Philippines Are Sort Of Missing The Point
World · Mar 25, 2016
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Psaki: 'A Record 331 Million Americans Have Not Been Abandoned In Afghanistan'
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Premium Content

Premium
· Mar 26, 2025
· 104
The Bee Does The Studio Ghibli Trend
Everyone discovered today that ChatGPT will take your photos and remake them in the style of Studio Ghibli. Of course, The Bee had to try it too. Let ...

Premium
· Mar 25, 2025
· 453
Open Discussion Thread: What Is An Underappreciated Movie That You Love?
It is a true crime that many good movies just don't seem to get the love they deserve. There are movies such as The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner...

Premium
· Mar 19, 2025
· 130
ODT: What Are You Most Excited To Ask God?
The Bee staff got to talking this morning about what questions we are most excited to ask God when we get to Heaven. We had some real doozies, such as...

Premium
· Mar 18, 2025
· 168
ODT: What Is The Best Video Game Console Of All Time?
It's no secret that the guys at The Babylon Bee love their video games. After a hard day's work of owning the libs, we often unwind with a good game. ...
Greatest Hits

Disney CEO: 'To Avoid Filming Among Depraved, Immoral People, We Are Moving All Our Georgia Operations Back To Hollywood'
Entertainment · May 30, 2019
· 9

Celebrities Show Solidarity With Protesters By Burning Their Own Homes To The Ground
Celebs · Jun 5, 2020
· 70

Trump: 'I Have Done More For Christianity Than Jesus'
Politics · Dec 23, 2019
· 81

Genius Trump Nominates Joe Biden To Supreme Court Forcing Dems To Accuse Him Of Sexual Assault
Politics · Sep 20, 2020
· 91

Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton
Politics · Nov 26, 2018
· 14

Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics
Sports · Jun 21, 2021
· 217
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