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Problems In Middle East Blamed On The 0.3% Of It That Isn’t An Islamic Dictatorship - Article image
World · Aug 18, 2025 · 31
Problems In Middle East Blamed On The 0.3% Of It That Isn’t An Islamic Dictatorship

AMMAN - As experts and diplomats continue to search for the solution to the generations-long conflict in the region, one surprising study has conclude...

Donkey Kong Certain Collecting Another Banana Will Fill God-Shaped Hole In His Heart - Article image
Life · Aug 18, 2025 · 42
Donkey Kong Certain Collecting Another Banana Will Fill God-Shaped Hole In His Heart

INGOT ISLE - According to sources, the ape known as Donkey Kong is certain collecting another banana will fill the God-shaped hole in his heart.

Dallas Cowboys Relieved To No Longer Be Gayest Team In League - Article image
Sports · Aug 18, 2025 · 48
Dallas Cowboys Relieved To No Longer Be Gayest Team In League

FRISCO, TX - After witnessing the debut of the Minnesota Vikings' new male cheerleaders, the Dallas Cowboys expressed relief that they would no longer...
Inappropriate? Zelenskyy Shows Up To Negotiations In Novelty Bikini T-Shirt
Inappropriate? Zelenskyy Shows Up To Negotiations In Novelty Bikini T-Shirt
Inappropriate? Zelenskyy Shows Up To Negotiations In Novelty Bikini T-Shirt - Featured article image
Politics · Aug 18, 2025 · 32

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy arrived at the White House today wearing a novelty bikini t-shirt which some are calling in...

Kids Ministry That Spells 'Kids' With A 'Z' Gonna Be Absolutely Lit - Article image
Church · Aug 18, 2025 · 23
Kids Ministry That Spells 'Kids' With A 'Z' Gonna Be Absolutely Lit

LITTLE ROCK, AR - According to sources, a local church's kids ministry spells "kids" with a "z" instead of an "s" at the end, a sure sign that this ki...

Church · Aug 18, 2025 · 23
Kids Ministry That Spells 'Kids' With A 'Z' Gonna Be Absolutely Lit

Kids Ministry That Spells 'Kids' With A 'Z' Gonna Be Absolutely Lit - Featured article image
LITTLE ROCK, AR - According to sources, a local church's kids ministry spells "kids" with a "z" instead of an "s" at the end, a sure sign that this ki...
Dallas Cowboys Relieved To No Longer Be Gayest Team In League - Article image
Sports · Aug 18, 2025 · 48
Dallas Cowboys Relieved To No Longer Be Gayest Team In League

FRISCO, TX - After witnessing the debut of the Minnesota Vikings' new male cheerleaders, the Dallas Cowboys expressed relief that they would no longer...

Subscriber Headlines

'Is This Game Over Yet?' Female Ump Repeatedly Asks

Aug 13, 2025 | Yantelope the Documented


In 4th Temptation, Satan Tempts Jesus To Eat Chick-Fil-A On A Sunday

Aug 10, 2025 | Skol Is Ready For Football


Female Umpire Has To Leave Game When She Realizes She Has Same Outfit On As The Other Umpires

Aug 6, 2025 | turkeybuzzard

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Dems Say Mail-In Ballot Ban Will Place Undue Hardship On Dead Voters - Article image
Dems Say Mail-In Ballot Ban Will Place Undue Hardship On Dead Voters
Politics · Aug 18, 2025 · 22
Metropolis Sues Superman For Reducing Crime - Article image
Metropolis Sues Superman For Reducing Crime
U.S. · Aug 18, 2025 · 47
Ukraine Raises Alarm As Trump Emerges From Meeting Wearing Soviet Ushanka - Article image
Ukraine Raises Alarm As Trump Emerges From Meeting Wearing Soviet Ushanka
World · Aug 16, 2025 · 75
Highschool Freshman Disappointed There Isn't An Affable Loner Around On First Day Of School To Point Out Which Tables In The Lunch Room Various Social Groups Sit At - Article image
Highschool Freshman Disappointed There Isn't An Affable Loner Around On First Day Of School To Point Out Which Tables In The Lunch Room Various Social Groups Sit At
Life · Aug 16, 2025 · 97
Disaster Strikes As Trump Accidentally Rips Putin's Arm Off With Macho Handshake - Article image
Disaster Strikes As Trump Accidentally Rips Putin's Arm Off With Macho Handshake
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Dad Fussy After Missing His Afternoon Nap
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11 New Artifacts Trump Ordered The Smithsonian To Display - Article image
U.S. · Aug 15, 2025 · 113
11 New Artifacts Trump Ordered The Smithsonian To Display

In addition to ordering a comprehensive review of the Smithsonian museums to root out "wokeness," President Donald Trump has reportedly provided the i...
New Phone For Introverts Doesn't Have A Call Function - Article image
Tech · Aug 17, 2025 · 63
New Phone For Introverts Doesn't Have A Call Function

U.S. - Samsung has released a new phone designed specifically for introverts which has no call function whatsoever.
Scholars Now Believe Samson Slew 1,000 Philistines With A 6-Inch Italian B.M.T. - Article image
Scripture · Aug 16, 2025 · 80
Scholars Now Believe Samson Slew 1,000 Philistines With A 6-Inch Italian B.M.T.

WORLD - Old Testament scholars announced today that new evidence has revealed Samson actually slew one thousand Philistines with a 6-inch Italian B.M....
Man Still Not Understanding Bible Verse Despite Author Writing ‘Let The Reader Understand’ - Article image
Scripture · Aug 17, 2025 · 67
Man Still Not Understanding Bible Verse Despite Author Writing ‘Let The Reader Understand’

TOPEKA, KS - Local man Chris Hampton remained terribly confused about the meaning of a Bible verse despite the Biblical author having written "Let the...

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10 Telltale Signs Of Dangerous Authoritarianism - Article image
Politics · Aug 14, 2025 · 156
10 Telltale Signs Of Dangerous Authoritarianism

In case you haven't already heard, you're living in an oppressive, authoritarian dictatorship now. Don't believe it? It's easy to see once you know wh...
Man Tells Subway Worker He's Looking For Something With Stopping Power That's Compact And Easy To Conceal - Article image
U.S. · Aug 15, 2025 · 86
Man Tells Subway Worker He's Looking For Something With Stopping Power That's Compact And Easy To Conceal

WASHINGTON, D.C. - An unidentified man at a local Subway location was seen asking the Sandwich Artist on duty if they had a sandwich that has good sto...
7 Major Advantages Of Female Umpires - Article image
Sports · Aug 13, 2025 · 95
7 Major Advantages Of Female Umpires

While naysayers doubted Major League Baseball's decision to hire its first female umpire, the advantages have already proved undeniable. Here are seve...
JB Pritzker Joins Police Force In Hopes Of Getting Sandwich Thrown At Him - Article image
U.S. · Aug 14, 2025 · 93
JB Pritzker Joins Police Force In Hopes Of Getting Sandwich Thrown At Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Illinois Governor JB Pritzker reportedly joined the fray as a law enforcement officer in the nation's capital in hopes of getting a...

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Thomas Nelson Releases 'Trump Calling' Devotional - Article image
Christian Living · Dec 27, 2017 · 7
Thomas Nelson Releases 'Trump Calling' Devotional

NASHVILLE, TN - Thomas Nelson announced Wednesday an exciting new addition to its collection of Jesus Calling books by Sarah Young: Trump Calling...
Podcast #15: How Social Justice Is Like Gremlins With Peter Boghossian And James Lindsay - Article image
Podcast #15: How Social Justice Is Like Gremlins With Peter Boghossian And James Lindsay
The Babylon Bee · Sep 20, 2019 · 5
7 Changes Mamdani Is Proposing For New York City - Article image
7 Changes Mamdani Is Proposing For New York City
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Church Sees Explosive Growth After Introduction Of Heavy Metal Service
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Matt Chandler Asks Drive-Thru Employee 42 Times If She's Tracking With Him - Article image
Matt Chandler Asks Drive-Thru Employee 42 Times If She's Tracking With Him
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PS5 Review: It's A Fine System -- But Can Anything Really Be Fine Under Trump? - Article image
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New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #013: A Wedgie Beats Depression - Article image
Premium · Aug 15, 2025 · 16
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #013: A Wedgie Beats Depression

The Babylon Bee is celebrating the much anticipated launch of Bee Minus! They are abuzz with the news of Trump fighting crime in D.C., Disney losing t...
New Video - Woke Jesus Returns - Article image
Premium · Aug 14, 2025 · 27
New Video - Woke Jesus Returns

Woke Jesus is back with a new collection of socialist teachings for your edification. Listen and be inspired. More episodes coming soon!
Winner Revealed: Back-To-School Stock Photo Headline Challenge! - Article image
Premium · Aug 13, 2025 · 100
Winner Revealed: Back-To-School Stock Photo Headline Challenge!

It is time to go back to school, but it is also time to celebrate the most recent winner of the Stock Photo Headline Challenge! Please put your hands ...
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Back-To-School! - Article image
Premium · Aug 11, 2025 · 140
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Back-To-School!

It's that time of year for school to begin again. Sorry, kids! Let's see how Babylon Bee subscribers can at least make some good headlines out of it. ...

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What Should You Wear To Church? A Handy Guide For Each Denomination
Church · Oct 16, 2017 · 25
Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking - Article image
Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking
Politics · Jul 16, 2019 · 15
Disney CEO: 'To Avoid Filming Among Depraved, Immoral People, We Are Moving All Our Georgia Operations Back To Hollywood' - Article image
Disney CEO: 'To Avoid Filming Among Depraved, Immoral People, We Are Moving All Our Georgia Operations Back To Hollywood'
Entertainment · May 30, 2019 · 9
Warren Returns To Tribe In Shame After Failing To Take Land Back From The Pale Faces - Article image
Warren Returns To Tribe In Shame After Failing To Take Land Back From The Pale Faces
Politics · Mar 5, 2020 · 20
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record - Article image
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record
Sports · Oct 25, 2019 · 44
Fisher-Price Releases 'My First Peaceful Protest' Playset With House You Can Actually Burn Down - Article image
Fisher-Price Releases 'My First Peaceful Protest' Playset With House You Can Actually Burn Down
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