World
· Sep 18, 2024
· 98
BREAKING: Israel Kills Thousands More Terrorists With Exploding '200 Free Hours of AOL' CDs
LEBANON - Video footage of several explosions flooded social media Wednesday as thousands more Hezbollah terrorists were killed by exploding CDs promi...
Op-Ed
· Sep 18, 2024
· 78
'You Accept All Cookies Into Your Browser, But Do You Accept All Of Jesus Into Your Heart?' - OpEd By Chet Skatington
Check it, Fam. You know when you're on the computer and go to a website about skateboarding and are hit with a pop-up about accepting cookies? You're ...
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Trump Dodges Falling Piano, Swinging Death Blade, Spiked Pitfall Trap On Way To Rally
Politics · Sep 18, 2024
· 82
Furious Gavin Newsom Bans A.I. Images After Getting Tricked Into Thinking Pic Of Trump As A Mer-Man Was Real
Media · Sep 18, 2024
· 68
FBI Says We May Never Know The Motivation Of The Would-Be Trump Assassin Who Was A Biden-Harris Supporter And Donated To Democrats 20 Times
U.S. · Sep 17, 2024
· 66
Man Spends Entire Workout Finding Right Podcast To Listen To
Life · Sep 17, 2024
· 62
Hillary Clinton Says First Amendment Is Russian Disinformation
Politics · Sep 17, 2024
· 81
After Reading Headlines, Pope Sentences Babylon Bee Writers To 7 Trillion Years In Purgatory
Church · Sep 17, 2024
· 145
Buzzing
U.S.
· Sep 17, 2024
· 145
Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices today. Michigan Congress...
Politics
· Sep 16, 2024
· 155
Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Americans across the country breathed a sigh of relief this morning following breaking news that Vice President Kamala Harris had s...
Sponsored
· Sep 17, 2024
· 119
9 Great Investments To Help You Survive A Kamala Harris Administration
You read the Journal. You follow the stonks. And now you're wondering how you'll possibly manage to get through four years of a Kamala Harris administ...
Sponsored
· Sep 16, 2024
· 90
11 New Security Measures The Trump Campaign Will Be Implementing After Assassination Attempt
Following what the FBI confirmed was a second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, the Secret Service has reportedly been hard at w...
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Politics
· Sep 16, 2024
· 118
Democrats Accuse Trump Of Inciting Further Violence By Not Dying
PALM BEACH, FL - In the wake of what appears to be a second assassination attempt on Donald Trump, Democrats across the country have stepped forward t...
U.S.
· Sep 17, 2024
· 72
Merrick Garland Warns If Anyone Insults Migrants Again He Will Call In Another Bomb Threat
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Merrick Garland has just issued an ultimatum to racists around the country, warning that if anyone insults migrants again, he'll be...
Politics
· Sep 16, 2024
· 79
Democrats Express Relief That Hitler Is OK
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With news continuing to filter in about the second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, the nation's prominent D...
Media
· Sep 15, 2024
· 79
Media Assures Americans The Real Threat Is The Side That Keeps Getting Shot At
U.S. - In the wake of yet another assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, the media sought to assure Americans that the real threat is...
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Premium
· Sep 18, 2024
· 85
The Bee Responds To Gavin Newsom Banning Free Speech In California
That rascally Governor of California Mister Gavin Newsom signed a bill into law yesterday that prohibits the use of AI-generated images or videos rela...
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· Sep 17, 2024
· 81
Rejected Headlines: September 2024
Our writers at The Babylon Bee pitch nothing but gold every day. Gold, Jerry! Gold! But some gold is a little more golden than others. That's why we h...
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· Sep 5, 2024
· 63
We Made A Feature-Length Movie As A Special Gift Just For Our Amazing Subscribers
As a loyal Babylon Bee subscriber, you keep us afloat with your faithful support, and we couldn't be more grateful.
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· Sep 3, 2024
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Open Discussion Thread: Does Kennedy Shake Things Up?
This election looks like it's going to be a close race between Kamala and Trump that will go down to the wire in key battleground swing states. Do you...
Greatest Hits
Joel Osteen Launches Line Of Pastoral Wear: 'Sheep's Clothing'
Celebs · Sep 22, 2017
· 15
Biden Campaign Says He Is So Close To A VP Pick He Can Smell Her
Politics · Aug 1, 2020
· 124
Biden: 'Republicans May Have Standards, But We Have Double Standards'
Politics · Jun 18, 2019
· 21
Man In Critical Condition After Hearing Slightly Differing Viewpoint
Worldviews · Apr 11, 2019
· 34
Hillary Clinton Releases DNA Test Results Proving She's Only Half Lizard Person
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· 18
El Paso Man Comes Down From Insane Acid Trip Where He Hallucinated That He Ran For President
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· 7
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