HEAVEN — Saint Peter is now learning a lot about the Bible from this John MacArthur fellow who just arrived in Heaven this week.
According to celestial eyewitnesses, Peter and the other apostles were giddy with the news of the beloved preacher's impending arrival. These apostles, along with the prophets and other saints, were later seen soaking up the Scriptures like a sponge, now that John MacArthur was finally there to bless them with his thorough knowledge of scripture.
"Oh man, the Bible makes so much more sense now!" Peter could be heard shouting for joy. "I mean, I know I wrote part of the Bible, but I've just never had it all explained to me this way. I've been waiting for this moment for a long time."
Sources say the apostles and hundreds of heroes of the faith all gathered at MacArthur's feet to hear some old-time preaching.
"It really feels like God's truth is being unleashed one verse at a time!" echoed the epistle writer James. "And oh boy, that singing voice. Never in all my time in Heaven have I heard such angelic singing."
"Tell us again about how you stood up to Gavin Newsom!" said John the Baptist. "That was so cool! Tell us again! Tell us again!"
At publishing time, the apostles were lining up after class to have Pastor John sign his autograph on each of their copies of the John MacArthur Study Bible.
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