DENVER, CO — Logistical challenges quickly presented themselves at a local gathering of alternative lifestyle enthusiasts, as a long line for the bathroom developed because there was only one fire hydrant outside the furry convention.
Attendees found themselves waiting for extended periods of time to do their business, as convention organizers admitted that the failure to consider restroom arrangements left them with just the single hydrant for guests.
"We clearly didn't think this through," said Kevin Brandt, lead promoter for Furry Fest 2025. "We thought we had every aspect of the convention covered, but it never occurred to us that we'd need more than one fire hydrant for our guests to relieve themselves. Oh well, lesson learned for next year."
Brandt, who also goes by the name "Biscuit" when dressed in his furry garb, said there had already been dozens of complaints. "There was quite a mess on the grass in front of the event center," he said. "Some of our attendees just couldn't hold it long enough to wait for the hydrant to be available. It's ok, though. We had enough people out there from the staff with little doggy bags to pick up the mess. Filled up a bunch of the trash cans, unfortunately."
Witnesses reported hearing the mournful wails of several furries as they waited in the long line to use the hydrant.
At publishing time, Furry Fest organizers were in discussion to hold next year's convention in San Francisco, where having feces-covered sidewalks may not be as noticeable.
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