WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump put Iran on notice, stating that this was his final warning before he would send Bruce Springsteen to perform there.
Trump told the IRGC that if the Strait of Hormuz was not fully reopened by Tuesday tonight, Springsteen would be immediately deployed to start playing concerts all across Iran.
"Springsteen is locked and loaded, Mr. Ayatollah. Don't make me do it," said Trump. "Frankly, I don't want to send Bruce over there. I love the Iranian people. No one should be hurt like that, but this is war. War is ugly, like Rosie O'Donnell, very ugly. This is your final warning."
Sources within Iran reported that Trump's threat to send in Springsteen had wrought fear and panic across the regime. "Not Bruce. Anything but Bruce," said IRGC commander Sharif Rahimi. "Just nuke us, for Pete's sake. The mullahs have no choice now but to reach an agreement. We cannot withstand the torment of Bruce Springsteen."
At publishing time, the international community had warned President Trump that sending Bruce Springsteen to perform in Iran would potentially be the most heinous war crime in history.
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