Life
· Aug 8, 2026
· 118
Top 10 Reasons To Move To California
With the population of California diminishing of late, we at The Babylon Bee are here to help turn the tide. Here are just ten of the many great reaso...
Scripture
· Aug 7, 2026
· 91
Angel Still Guarding Eden With Flaming Sword Wondering If He Can Move Yet
EDEN - Having gone an inordinate length of time standing watch in the same place for many, many years, the angel guarding the Garden of Eden with a fl...
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Politics
· Aug 7, 2026
· 76
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Staff for Mitch McConnell assured the nation that the Kentucky senator had been dropped off at a nice farm in the country where he ...
Economy
· Aug 6, 2026
· 103
7 Hacks To Obtain A Burrito For Less Than $20
Burritos are really, really expensive these days, apparently. But fear not - there are still ways to get them without having to shell out $20 a pop. Y...
Lifestyle
· Aug 7, 2026
· 66
'There Aren't Bad Pets, Only Bad Owners,' Explains Woman Out Walking Velociraptor
SOUTH BEND, IN - The debate over dangerous pets heated up again after a woman took her pet velociraptor out for a walk and declared, "There aren't any...
Scripture
· Aug 7, 2026
· 72
Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20
BETHSAIDA - Reports confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth had successfully fed a crowd of 5,000 men, plus women and children, using just five barley loaves...
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Church
· Aug 4, 2026
· 153
Tell Us What Kind Of Coffee Your Church Serves And We'll Tell You What Denomination You Are
All churches that truly love Jesus serve coffee, but did you know that you can actually tell what denomination a church is by what coffee it serves?
U.S.
· Aug 6, 2026
· 71
Due To Depleted Missile Supply, 'Operation Epic Fury' Downgraded To 'Operation Mildly Aggressive Fury'
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Due to a reportedly depleted supply of ballistic missiles following months of bombardment, military officials confirmed this week t...
Family
· May 19, 2026
· 59
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Entertainment
· Aug 6, 2026
· 62
Scientists Theorize Existence Of Movie Not Starring Zendaya
CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND - A team of leading physicists at the University of Cambridge theorized the existence of a motion picture that does not feature act...
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Premium
· Jun 15, 2026
· 72
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition
Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
Premium
· May 25, 2026
· 40
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?
Hey, Bee family!
Premium
· May 19, 2026
· 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom
As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Premium
· May 18, 2026
· 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
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