WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another sign of the New Golden Age being ushered in under his administration, President Donald Trump announced that Mexican Coke would now be made in America.
The landmark move came following an intense period of negotiations, as Trump sought to bring the best-tasting version of Coca-Cola to the United States. The president stated that the change would play a crucial role in making America great again.
"Mexican Coke will be back in the United States, where it belongs!" the president posted on Truth Social. "For far too long, the most delicious Coke has been made in Mexico. Such a travesty. I spoke with Coca-Cola today, and am proud to announce that starting immediately, Mexican Coke will be made right here in America, as it should. Many people said it couldn't be done. Biden should have done it, but he couldn't make it happen. Sad! Coke tastes much better out of glass bottles! Make Mexican Coke American Again! Thank you for your attention in this matter!"
Industry experts said Mexican Coke's move to being produced in America would create a seismic shift for Coca-Cola drinkers in the U.S., to the delight of Trump's supporters. "Mexico has no business being the place where Mexican Coke is made," said one MAGA voter. "America is where Mexican Coke should have always been made. No more outsourcing our Mexican Coke-producing jobs to Mexico! God bless you, President Trump!"
At publishing time, Trump was reportedly in intense negotiations with PepsiCo to bring back Crystal Pepsi.
Desperate to win back male voters, Democrat strategists propose bold new ideas.
