U.S. — A terrifying study has confirmed what some already feared: there are people still getting vaccinated for COVID.
The startling report, released by the CDC, revealed that there were thousands of sentient human beings who were actually opting to receive a COVID booster in the year 2025.
"I had no idea it was this bad," said one concerned citizen to reporters."Are people really that dumb? What's going on here? I wonder if the COVID vax has fried their brains. That must be it."
There are still COVID boosters being offered by drug companies designed to protect against Alpha (B.1.1.7), Beta (B.1.351), Gamma (P.1), Delta (B.1.617.2), Omicron (B.1.1.529), BA.1, BA.2, BA.3, BA.4, BA.5, BQ.1, BQ.1.1, XBB, XBB.1.5 (Kraken), XBB.1.16 (Arcturus), EG.5 (Eris), BA.2.86 (Pirola), and JN.1 variants of the infamous virus that causes some sniffles and coughing. Experts expressed concern that if the trend doesn't reverse, the world may end up with generations of morons who have mutated their DNA beyond recognition to avoid a common cold.
The CDC warned that if people don't stop getting the useless, side-effect-ridden COVID vaccine by the end of the year, there will still be people getting the useless, side-effect-ridden COVID vaccine next year. "We have to stop these people," said one official. "They're going to kill themselves."
At publishing time, an even more concerning report revealed that thousands of people in Portland were still wearing COVID masks.
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