LOS ANGELES, CA — Hours after being swept out of the playoffs by the Milwaukee Brewers, the Los Angeles Dodgers announced that the organization had purchased the Milwaukee Brewers.
The baseball world erupted in elation after it seemed that the Dodgers would be denied a third consecutive championship, but the celebration was short-lived as the Dodgers shelled out $3 billion to assume ownership of the Brewers.
"Woo! The Dodgers tried to ruin baseball, but they couldn't do it," said local man Dennis Granger. "You can't just buy a championship. Wait, why are they issuing all the Brewers players Dodgers jerseys?"
According to internal sources, the Dodgers organization had always prepared for this contingency. "If you beat us, congrats, we'll buy your team," explained a Dodgers owner on condition of anonymity. "Either you lose, or we get your team through a hostile takeover. It's your choice, and we really don't care."
At publishing time, the Dodgers' owners had announced the acquisition of the Cleveland Guardians and Tampa Bay Rays.
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