Politics
Governor Newsom Orders Ballots To Be Sent To Every Cemetery In State

SACRAMENTO, CA—To prepare for the upcoming November election, Governor Gavin Newsom has ordered ballots to be sent to every cemetery in the state.

The governor of California said that ballot boxes would be sent to cemeteries across the state to ensure everyone had the right to vote, dead or alive.

"We need every single Californian to vote, living or dead," Newsom said, wagging his finger. "Without everyone doing their part, no matter their undocumented living status, we can't beat the Republicans this time around. It's science!" When he said the word "science," he lifted a test tube into the air to lend some credence to his claims. 

Newsom said that people who don't want the dead to vote are discriminating against the "mortally challenged."

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