Former Vice President Kamala Harris has written a new book about her brief presidential campaign called 107 Days, and The Babylon Bee has obtained an advance copy.
The book won't be released until next month, but here are some of the most fascinating quotes:
"A prologue is like an introduction. So, here's my introduction. And this is my book. A book written by me. I am me. The writer of the book."
"My publisher said this book should be 100,000 words, which is very, very, very, very [...] very, very, very many words."
"This is a chapter. And in this chapter, there will be several pages. Each page contains many words. And the words are the meaning of the chapter."
"I was accused of covering up Joe Biden's severe dementia. This is false. During his entire term, he always seemed just as sharp and intelligent as I was."
"Of all the great political minds throughout history, the genius whose philosophy I admire most has to be Megan Thee Stallion."
"A Moscow Mule is three parts ginger beer, one part lime juice, and the rest is vodka. If you don't taste the vodka, you're doing it wrong."
"That was the day that I found out I've been pronouncing my first name wrong this whole time."
"It is my fervent hope and wish that my story can prove an inspiration for young black girls across this country whose dream it is to attain wealth, fame, and status through no achievement of their own. It can be done, girls!"
"Am I right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. I wrote this."
107 Days will be available on September 23. With quotes like the ones listed above, can you resist getting a copy of your own?
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