SANTEE JUNCTION, MO—At an early voting location this morning, African American citizen Conroy Ferguson turned white after voting Republican. Witnesses also claim he aged about 10 years and become perceivably more stuffy and unpleasant. Upon checking his wallet, Ferguson found his name had also changed to Clinton Hemsley.
Hemsley attempted to return to his family but when he explained what had happened he was cast out—not for his new skin color but for voting Republican.
There are now signs up at the voting location warning black voters that if they vote Republican they may also suddenly turn white.