Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Trending Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Trending Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Skip to main content
Sorry Excuse For American Hasn't Blown Off Single Finger With Fireworks - Article image
U.S. · Jul 4, 2025 · 60
Sorry Excuse For American Hasn't Blown Off Single Finger With Fireworks

LEE'S SUMMIT, MO - As people across the nation prepared to celebrate the 4th of July holiday, one sorry excuse for an American revealed he had yet to ...

Archaeologists Discover King Saul's Ouija Board - Article image
Theology · Jul 4, 2025 · 47
Archaeologists Discover King Saul's Ouija Board

JERICHO - Another fascinating piece of the biblical history puzzle fell into place this week, as archaeologists announced the discovery of what is bel...

Thyroid Sick Of Getting Blamed For All Of Woman's Character Flaws - Article image
Health · Jul 5, 2025 · 57
Thyroid Sick Of Getting Blamed For All Of Woman's Character Flaws

FRITCH, TX - Local woman Denise Stanton's thyroid gland has gotten increasingly fed up with getting blamed for all of her shortcomings.
Planned Parenthood Warns Funding Cut Will Result In Birth Of Thousands Of Babies
Planned Parenthood Warns Funding Cut Will Result In Birth Of Thousands Of Babies
Planned Parenthood Warns Funding Cut Will Result In Birth Of Thousands Of Babies - Featured article image
U.S. · Jul 4, 2025 · 112

U.S. - Following the passing of President Donald Trump's historic "Big Beautiful Bill" to set the government's spending budget, Planned Parenthood war...

Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot - Article image
Crime · Jul 3, 2025 · 83
Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot

CHICAGO - Chicago native Matthew Hayes reportedly defied all odds this week by not being shot.

Crime · Jul 3, 2025 · 83
Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot

Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot - Featured article image
CHICAGO - Chicago native Matthew Hayes reportedly defied all odds this week by not being shot.
Thyroid Sick Of Getting Blamed For All Of Woman's Character Flaws - Article image
Health · Jul 5, 2025 · 57
Thyroid Sick Of Getting Blamed For All Of Woman's Character Flaws

FRITCH, TX - Local woman Denise Stanton's thyroid gland has gotten increasingly fed up with getting blamed for all of her shortcomings.

Subscriber Headlines

Iran Puts McDonald’s Signs In Front Of Remaining Nuclear Facilities So Trump Stops Bombing Them

Jun 26, 2025 | Hustler Family


Iran Signs Ceasefire After Ayatollah Khamenei Unable To Find Affordable Life Insurance

Jun 23, 2025 | Christ is Risen


CNN Reports One Ring Mostly Intact After Being Thrown Into Mt. Doom

Jun 26, 2025 | LPA The Human

Visit Forum

New Store Merch

Latest

View All
LOOOOL Check Out This So-Called 'MAN' Who's Doing CARDIO (A Type Of Exercise For GIRLS) - Article image
LOOOOL Check Out This So-Called 'MAN' Who's Doing CARDIO (A Type Of Exercise For GIRLS)
Opinion · Jul 3, 2025 · 100
Continental Congress Reluctantly Agrees To Trim Down Name Of ‘Big Beautiful Declaration Of Independence’ - Article image
Continental Congress Reluctantly Agrees To Trim Down Name Of ‘Big Beautiful Declaration Of Independence’
History · Jul 3, 2025 · 30
Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States - Article image
Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States
U.S. · Jul 3, 2025 · 55
Journalist Up Late Trying To Decide Whether To Compare Trump's Bill To Jim Crow Or Holocaust - Article image
Journalist Up Late Trying To Decide Whether To Compare Trump's Bill To Jim Crow Or Holocaust
Politics · Jul 3, 2025 · 69
Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item 'Box Of Things We Found At The Beach' - Article image
Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item 'Box Of Things We Found At The Beach'
U.S. · Jul 2, 2025 · 74
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die - Article image
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die
Politics · Jul 2, 2025 · 58

Buzzing

View All
10 Exciting Changes Disney Is Bringing To The Indiana Jones Reboot - Article image
Entertainment · Jul 3, 2025 · 113
10 Exciting Changes Disney Is Bringing To The Indiana Jones Reboot

According to rumors, Disney and Lucasfilm are looking at rebooting the beloved Indiana Jones film series sans Harrison Ford, leading fans to speculate...
Millions Reported Dead As 'Big Beautiful Bill' Passes - Article image
Headline Says It All · Jul 3, 2025 · 83
Millions Reported Dead As 'Big Beautiful Bill' Passes

WORLD - Millions of people instantly died today after the Big, Beautiful Bill passed Congress.
How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July - Article image
Politics · Jul 2, 2025 · 100
How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July

It's birthday time once again for the greatest nation on earth: America. Everybody likes to celebrate 'Murica a little differently - here are how nine...
Wail Of Agony Heard From Satan's Office As Planned Parenthood Defunded - Article image
U.S. · Jul 3, 2025 · 91
Wail Of Agony Heard From Satan's Office As Planned Parenthood Defunded

HELL - A wailing, screeching sound was heard from the Devil's office today following the defunding of Planned Parenthood by the United States Governme...

Must Read

Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons - Article image
U.S. · Jul 2, 2025 · 142
Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons

Check out what's coming above! Any others you'd like to see? Let us know in the comments below.
Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off - Article image
Celebs · Jul 2, 2025 · 87
Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off

LOS ANGELES - Sean "Diddy" Combs celebrated his acquittal on sex trafficking and racketeering charges this morning by hosting a massive "freak-off."
Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12 - Article image
Politics · Jul 1, 2025 · 106
Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12

U.S. - Population numbers have shifted drastically in light of new changes to the census program, which remove illegal immigrants from official popula...
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes - Article image
Op-Ed · Jul 2, 2025 · 120
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes

Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.

Don't Miss

Boomers Prepare For Church By Setting Cell Phone To Maximum Volume - Article image
Church · Nov 3, 2024 · 97
Boomers Prepare For Church By Setting Cell Phone To Maximum Volume

U.S. - Boomers across the country prepared for church this morning by setting their cell phone ring volume to its absolute max.
To Appease China, Disney Changes Name Of Boba Fett's Ship From 'Slave I' To 'Uyghur Slave I' - Article image
To Appease China, Disney Changes Name Of Boba Fett's Ship From 'Slave I' To 'Uyghur Slave I'
Entertainment · Jun 28, 2021 · 68
9 Other Groups That Desperately Need Their Own Day Of Visibility - Article image
9 Other Groups That Desperately Need Their Own Day Of Visibility
Life · Apr 2, 2024 · 171
Benny Hinn Loses Control Of Powers, Sends Audience Member Soaring Hundreds Of Feet Into Air - Article image
Benny Hinn Loses Control Of Powers, Sends Audience Member Soaring Hundreds Of Feet Into Air
Celebs · Feb 16, 2017 · 7
Fringe Conspiracy Theorist Believes Epstein Just Killed Himself - Article image
Fringe Conspiracy Theorist Believes Epstein Just Killed Himself
Politics · Nov 4, 2019 · 7
Podcast #16: The Gospel Of Earthworm Jim - Article image
Podcast #16: The Gospel Of Earthworm Jim
The Babylon Bee · Sep 26, 2019 · 7
Dave Ramsey Suffers Massive Seizure After Walking Into Payday Loan Store - Article image
Dave Ramsey Suffers Massive Seizure After Walking Into Payday Loan Store
Celebs · Sep 4, 2018 · 7

Premium Content

View All
New Video - In Powerful Dissent, Ketanji Brown Jackson Writes 'Wakanda Forever' - Article image
Premium · Jul 3, 2025 · 29
New Video - In Powerful Dissent, Ketanji Brown Jackson Writes 'Wakanda Forever'

Check out the latest reporting from the team of certified fake news journalists at the Babylon Bee News Desk over on Bee Minus!
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Alligator Alcatraz - Article image
Premium · Jul 1, 2025 · 226
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Alligator Alcatraz

Trump announced Alligator Alcatraz is open for business now. This is a perfect opportunity for our Babylon Bee community to pitch alligator headlines....
New Video - What If the Constitution Were Written Today? - Article image
Premium · Jun 25, 2025 · 38
New Video - What If the Constitution Were Written Today?

What if the Constitution as we know it had never been written and had instead been left to modern politicians to draft? Find out all this and more in ...
The Buzz #006: Yes - Article image
Premium · Jun 24, 2025 · 64
The Buzz #006: Yes

Yes. It looks like Donald Trump decided to bomb Iran's heavily guarded nuclear sites with bunker buster bombs and then a ceasefire broke out. However,...

Greatest Hits

View All
Six-Year-Old Saying, 'Why Don't We Just Give Everything Away For Free?' Surges To Top Of Democratic Polls - Article image
Six-Year-Old Saying, 'Why Don't We Just Give Everything Away For Free?' Surges To Top Of Democratic Polls
Politics · Aug 13, 2019 · 14
CNN Publishes Real News Story For April Fools' Day - Article image
CNN Publishes Real News Story For April Fools' Day
Politics · Apr 1, 2019 · 12
Brilliant Trump Puts Himself On All Postage Stamps, Forcing Democrats To Push For Abolishing USPS - Article image
Brilliant Trump Puts Himself On All Postage Stamps, Forcing Democrats To Push For Abolishing USPS
Politics · Aug 17, 2020 · 113
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques - Article image
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
World · Jun 15, 2021 · 144
Nation's Wealthy, Privileged Gather To Lecture Nation On Evils Of Wealth, Privilege - Article image
Nation's Wealthy, Privileged Gather To Lecture Nation On Evils Of Wealth, Privilege
Entertainment · Feb 24, 2019 · 27
Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton - Article image
Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton
Politics · Nov 26, 2018 · 14

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2025 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.