Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Trending Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Trending Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Skip to main content
How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July - Article image
Politics · Jul 2, 2025 · 62
How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July

It's birthday time once again for the greatest nation on earth: America. Everybody likes to celebrate 'Murica a little differently - here are how nine...

Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons - Article image
U.S. · Jul 2, 2025 · 97
Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons

Check out what's coming above! Any others you'd like to see? Let us know in the comments below.

Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes - Article image
Op-Ed · Jul 2, 2025 · 82
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes

Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women's Swim Coach
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women's Swim Coach
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women's Swim Coach - Featured article image
Sports · Jul 2, 2025 · 39

PHILADELPHIA - In addition to stripping transgender swimmer Lia Thomas of his titles the University of Pennsylvania has agreed to hire on Matt Walsh a...

Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off - Article image
Celebs · Jul 2, 2025 · 73
Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off

LOS ANGELES - Sean "Diddy" Combs celebrated his acquittal on sex trafficking and racketeering charges this morning by hosting a massive "freak-off."

Celebs · Jul 2, 2025 · 73
Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off

Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off - Featured article image
LOS ANGELES - Sean "Diddy" Combs celebrated his acquittal on sex trafficking and racketeering charges this morning by hosting a massive "freak-off."
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes - Article image
Op-Ed · Jul 2, 2025 · 82
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes

Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.

Subscriber Headlines

Iranian Crowds Chant 'Death To America' In Hopes Of Getting Into Harvard

Jun 28, 2025 | Old Hoss


Trump Brings Peace To The Middle East By Introducing Them To Bacon

Jun 20, 2025 | AceBiscuits


Iran Puts McDonald’s Signs In Front Of Remaining Nuclear Facilities So Trump Stops Bombing Them

Jun 26, 2025 | Hustler Family

Visit Forum

New Store Merch

Latest

View All
Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item 'Box Of Things We Found At The Beach' - Article image
Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item 'Box Of Things We Found At The Beach'
U.S. · Jul 2, 2025 · 56
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die - Article image
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die
Politics · Jul 2, 2025 · 40
Subway Names Diddy As New Spokesman - Article image
Subway Names Diddy As New Spokesman
Celebs · Jul 2, 2025 · 44
Mamdani Says He Will Build Wall Separating East New York From West New York - Article image
Mamdani Says He Will Build Wall Separating East New York From West New York
Politics · Jul 1, 2025 · 67
Jesus Delights Crowd By Miraculously Turning Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Into Chocolate Chip - Article image
Jesus Delights Crowd By Miraculously Turning Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Into Chocolate Chip
Theology · Jul 1, 2025 · 106
Man Spends Six Years Digging Tunnel From Church Parking Lot To Sanctuary So He Can Avoid Greeters - Article image
Man Spends Six Years Digging Tunnel From Church Parking Lot To Sanctuary So He Can Avoid Greeters
Church · Jul 1, 2025 · 71

Buzzing

View All
Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12 - Article image
Politics · Jul 1, 2025 · 97
Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12

U.S. - Population numbers have shifted drastically in light of new changes to the census program, which remove illegal immigrants from official popula...
Pride Parade Followed Closely By Disinfectant Parade - Article image
Culture · Jun 30, 2025 · 99
Pride Parade Followed Closely By Disinfectant Parade

SAN FRANCISCO - Pride Month festivities drew to a close Monday with one final Pride Parade that was closely followed by a Disinfectant Parade.
UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against - Article image
World · Jul 1, 2025 · 77
UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against

LONDON - In a move intended to help citizens direct their hatred toward the appropriate parties, UK police released an updated chart showing who you'r...
Sad: Great White Shark Stripped Of UPenn Women's Swimming Title - Article image
Sports · Jul 2, 2025 · 73
Sad: Great White Shark Stripped Of UPenn Women's Swimming Title

PHILADELPHIA, PA - After years of outrage, a Pennsylvanian Great White shark was stripped this morning of its University of Pennsylvania Women's Swimm...

Must Read

Thomas Massie Unveils Small, Ugly Budget Bill With A Great Personality - Article image
Politics · Jul 1, 2025 · 43
Thomas Massie Unveils Small, Ugly Budget Bill With A Great Personality

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In his latest move to fight against the looming passage of President Donald Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill," Congressman Thomas Massie...
Ford Debuts World’s First Autonomous Car To Leave Factory And Drive Straight To Shop For Repairs - Article image
Tech · Jun 30, 2025 · 136
Ford Debuts World’s First Autonomous Car To Leave Factory And Drive Straight To Shop For Repairs

DEARBORN, MI - The Ford Motor Company made history once again with its recent debut of the world's first autonomous car to leave the factory and drive...
CNN Reports Viewership ‘Largely Intact’ - Article image
Media · Jun 30, 2025 · 77
CNN Reports Viewership ‘Largely Intact’

ATLANTA, GA - CNN is reporting that in spite of several ruthless attacks by the Trump administration, its audience is still largely intact.
KBJ Issues Savage Dissent In Form Of TikTok Dance - Article image
U.S. · Jun 30, 2025 · 64
KBJ Issues Savage Dissent In Form Of TikTok Dance

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an unprecedented move sure to take the legal world by storm, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson issued a savage dissent in the form o...

Don't Miss

Gen Zer Painstakingly Uncapitalizes Every Letter In Text To Make It Seem Like She's Not Trying - Article image
Life · Mar 23, 2023 · 91
Gen Zer Painstakingly Uncapitalizes Every Letter In Text To Make It Seem Like She's Not Trying

DENVER, CO - According to sources, local Gen Z girl Katniss Smith spent over 2 hours today painstakingly eliminating all capital letters and punctuati...
Man Hopes To One Day Be As Happy As People In This Hepatitis B Commercial - Article image
Man Hopes To One Day Be As Happy As People In This Hepatitis B Commercial
Health · Dec 3, 2023 · 156
Bros Hold Council To Determine Which Fast & Furious Films Are Canonical - Article image
Bros Hold Council To Determine Which Fast & Furious Films Are Canonical
Entertainment · Jul 7, 2023 · 89
Feminists Declare Victory After Obliterating Women's Sports, Relabeling Mothers 'Birthing Persons', Getting Women Drafted - Article image
Feminists Declare Victory After Obliterating Women's Sports, Relabeling Mothers 'Birthing Persons', Getting Women Drafted
Worldviews · Jul 24, 2021 · 260
Lysol Introduces Shoulder-Mounted Turret That Automatically Blasts Anyone Who Coughs Within Six Feet Of You - Article image
Lysol Introduces Shoulder-Mounted Turret That Automatically Blasts Anyone Who Coughs Within Six Feet Of You
Health · Mar 19, 2020 · 7
Terry McAuliffe Baffled That Telling Parents The State Owns Their Children Wasn't A Winning Strategy - Article image
Terry McAuliffe Baffled That Telling Parents The State Owns Their Children Wasn't A Winning Strategy
Politics · Nov 2, 2021 · 135
Wife Screams As Car 5 Miles In Front Of You Slows Down Slightly - Article image
Wife Screams As Car 5 Miles In Front Of You Slows Down Slightly
Family · Mar 22, 2021 · 92

Premium Content

View All
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Alligator Alcatraz - Article image
Premium · Jul 1, 2025 · 187
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Alligator Alcatraz

Trump announced Alligator Alcatraz is open for business now. This is a perfect opportunity for our Babylon Bee community to pitch alligator headlines....
New Video - What If the Constitution Were Written Today? - Article image
Premium · Jun 25, 2025 · 36
New Video - What If the Constitution Were Written Today?

What if the Constitution as we know it had never been written and had instead been left to modern politicians to draft? Find out all this and more in ...
The Buzz #006: Yes - Article image
Premium · Jun 24, 2025 · 59
The Buzz #006: Yes

Yes. It looks like Donald Trump decided to bomb Iran's heavily guarded nuclear sites with bunker buster bombs and then a ceasefire broke out. However,...
What Is Your Favorite Translation Of The Bible? - Article image
Premium · Jun 23, 2025 · 202
What Is Your Favorite Translation Of The Bible?

Going into the archives, we found this great Babylon Bee article:

Greatest Hits

View All
In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible - Article image
In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible
Politics · Jun 3, 2020 · 48
Teachers Urge Government To Reopen Schools Before Students Learn To Think For Themselves - Article image
Teachers Urge Government To Reopen Schools Before Students Learn To Think For Themselves
Worldviews · Mar 31, 2020 · 28
Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces - Article image
Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces
Politics · Sep 28, 2018 · 33
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques - Article image
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
World · Jun 15, 2021 · 144
Trump Announces He Has Hidden 5 Golden Tickets Among Stimulus Checks - Article image
Trump Announces He Has Hidden 5 Golden Tickets Among Stimulus Checks
Politics · Apr 15, 2020 · 21
Warren Returns To Tribe In Shame After Failing To Take Land Back From The Pale Faces - Article image
Warren Returns To Tribe In Shame After Failing To Take Land Back From The Pale Faces
Politics · Mar 5, 2020 · 20

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2025 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.