DEARBORN, MI — The Ford Motor Company made history once again with its recent debut of the world's first autonomous car to leave the factory and drive straight to the shop for repairs.
According to upper-level Ford executives, the fully self-driving car is the first of its kind to be able to make a direct bee-line from the assembly line to the nearest mechanic shop.
"This is really exciting, groundbreaking stuff," said Jameson Lloyd, who directs Ford's autonomous vehicles program. "No one else has ever been able to craft a car so self-aware that it can roll directly from the factory to the nearest repair shop, where all our cars belong. It's a huge step forward for Ford — this car will automatically detect all the mechanical problems that arise as soon as it leaves the lot and immediately head into the shop for repairs."
Consumers say they are excited to test the car's capabilities.
"It's always been a huge hassle for me to pick up a brand new Ford and drive it to the nearest shop myself," said Bob Bunsen, a longtime Ford enthusiast. "This thing will save me so much time by just going straight from the production line to get repaired all by itself. I can't wait."
At publishing time, Ford had released a software update for the car which saved even more time by driving to the dump instead of a repair shop.
Liberal Brynnleigh travels back to 1933 Germany to erase a certain stain on humanity.
