NEW YORK, NY — After U.S. military action against the Ayatollah, New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly getting nervous that President Donald Trump keeps assassinating Muslim dictators.
The radical extremist now ruling as the leader of an oppressive Islamic regime in the Big Apple was overheard asking his closest advisors for plans to take cover to avoid Trump's ongoing campaign to wipe out all Muslim dictators who threaten the security of the United States.
"There aren't many of us left," Mamdani reportedly told one aide. "Trump keeps taking out all of our best guys. Every radical Muslim dictator is now in danger, including me. If I don't want to be next, I need to hide somewhere. What are our options?
After being briefed on all available security and evacuation measures, Mamdani reportedly notified is Islamic regime to prepare for conflict with the United States. "It's inevitable," he said. "The Trump administration has made it clear that the days of Islamic dictatorships that take aggressive stances against the U.S. are numbered. That means us. If Trump keeps eliminating America-hating Muslim leaders, I know it'll eventually be my turn."
According to insiders, Mamdani then ordered all members of his staff to their battle stations to await further orders while he took refuge in a subterranean bunker in his mayoral headquarters underneath a major children's hospital.
At publishing time, Mamdani had ordered retaliatory snowball strikes against strategic U.S. targets within New York City.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
