U.S. — Population numbers have shifted drastically in light of new changes to the census program, which remove illegal immigrants from official population numbers. As a result, California, once the most populous state in the country, now has a total population of just 12 people.
"Woah. Where'd everyone go?" said one of the 12 remaining Californians.
With a new count of just 12 people, California's power will be greatly reduced in the House of Representatives, moving from 52 congressional seats to just 1. The state will also have just 1 vote in the electoral college going forward.
"We knew California would take a hit, but we didn't expect it to be by this much," said White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller, who also revealed that Governor Gavin Newsom was himself an illegal alien.
Congressional Representative Pete Aguilar, formerly of California's 33rd district, is now actively campaigning against 51 former colleagues for control of California's single congressional district. In a passionate speech to the 12 American citizens in California, he said, "Vote for me, or you'll end up with Nancy Pelosi again."
At publishing time, Governor Gavin Newsom sued the Trump administration for bothering to keep a census at all, calling it "fascist authoritarian overreach."
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