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How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July - Article image
Politics · Jul 2, 2025 · 62
How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July

It's birthday time once again for the greatest nation on earth: America. Everybody likes to celebrate 'Murica a little differently - here are how nine...

Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons - Article image
U.S. · Jul 2, 2025 · 93
Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons

Check out what's coming above! Any others you'd like to see? Let us know in the comments below.

Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes - Article image
Op-Ed · Jul 2, 2025 · 82
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes

Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women's Swim Coach
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women's Swim Coach
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women's Swim Coach - Featured article image
Sports · Jul 2, 2025 · 38

PHILADELPHIA - In addition to stripping transgender swimmer Lia Thomas of his titles the University of Pennsylvania has agreed to hire on Matt Walsh a...

Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off - Article image
Celebs · Jul 2, 2025 · 73
Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off

LOS ANGELES - Sean "Diddy" Combs celebrated his acquittal on sex trafficking and racketeering charges this morning by hosting a massive "freak-off."

Celebs · Jul 2, 2025 · 73
Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off

Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off - Featured article image
LOS ANGELES - Sean "Diddy" Combs celebrated his acquittal on sex trafficking and racketeering charges this morning by hosting a massive "freak-off."
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes - Article image
Op-Ed · Jul 2, 2025 · 82
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes

Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.

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Iranian Crowds Chant 'Death To America' In Hopes Of Getting Into Harvard

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Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item 'Box Of Things We Found At The Beach' - Article image
Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item 'Box Of Things We Found At The Beach'
U.S. · Jul 2, 2025 · 52
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die - Article image
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die
Politics · Jul 2, 2025 · 40
Subway Names Diddy As New Spokesman - Article image
Subway Names Diddy As New Spokesman
Celebs · Jul 2, 2025 · 44
Mamdani Says He Will Build Wall Separating East New York From West New York - Article image
Mamdani Says He Will Build Wall Separating East New York From West New York
Politics · Jul 1, 2025 · 67
Jesus Delights Crowd By Miraculously Turning Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Into Chocolate Chip - Article image
Jesus Delights Crowd By Miraculously Turning Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Into Chocolate Chip
Theology · Jul 1, 2025 · 106
Man Spends Six Years Digging Tunnel From Church Parking Lot To Sanctuary So He Can Avoid Greeters - Article image
Man Spends Six Years Digging Tunnel From Church Parking Lot To Sanctuary So He Can Avoid Greeters
Church · Jul 1, 2025 · 71

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Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12 - Article image
Politics · Jul 1, 2025 · 97
Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12

U.S. - Population numbers have shifted drastically in light of new changes to the census program, which remove illegal immigrants from official popula...
Pride Parade Followed Closely By Disinfectant Parade - Article image
Culture · Jun 30, 2025 · 99
Pride Parade Followed Closely By Disinfectant Parade

SAN FRANCISCO - Pride Month festivities drew to a close Monday with one final Pride Parade that was closely followed by a Disinfectant Parade.
UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against - Article image
World · Jul 1, 2025 · 77
UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against

LONDON - In a move intended to help citizens direct their hatred toward the appropriate parties, UK police released an updated chart showing who you'r...
Sad: Great White Shark Stripped Of UPenn Women's Swimming Title - Article image
Sports · Jul 2, 2025 · 73
Sad: Great White Shark Stripped Of UPenn Women's Swimming Title

PHILADELPHIA, PA - After years of outrage, a Pennsylvanian Great White shark was stripped this morning of its University of Pennsylvania Women's Swimm...

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Thomas Massie Unveils Small, Ugly Budget Bill With A Great Personality - Article image
Politics · Jul 1, 2025 · 43
Thomas Massie Unveils Small, Ugly Budget Bill With A Great Personality

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In his latest move to fight against the looming passage of President Donald Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill," Congressman Thomas Massie...
Ford Debuts World’s First Autonomous Car To Leave Factory And Drive Straight To Shop For Repairs - Article image
Tech · Jun 30, 2025 · 136
Ford Debuts World’s First Autonomous Car To Leave Factory And Drive Straight To Shop For Repairs

DEARBORN, MI - The Ford Motor Company made history once again with its recent debut of the world's first autonomous car to leave the factory and drive...
CNN Reports Viewership ‘Largely Intact’ - Article image
Media · Jun 30, 2025 · 77
CNN Reports Viewership ‘Largely Intact’

ATLANTA, GA - CNN is reporting that in spite of several ruthless attacks by the Trump administration, its audience is still largely intact.
Jeff Bezos's Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife's Amazon Purchases - Article image
Celebs · Jun 29, 2025 · 131
Jeff Bezos's Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife's Amazon Purchases

TUCSON, AZ - Local man Jeremy Briggs sadly discovered this week that his wife's Amazon purchases single-handedly funded billionaire Jeff Bezos's elabo...

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SpaceX Launch Fails After Rocket Bounces Off Firmament - Article image
Scripture · Sep 13, 2018 · 18
SpaceX Launch Fails After Rocket Bounces Off Firmament

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL - A SpaceX launch ended in tragedy Thursday as the rocket intended to carry a cellular satellite into orbit around the earth bounce...
NASA Sends Rover To Search For Intelligent Life On ‘The View’ - Article image
NASA Sends Rover To Search For Intelligent Life On ‘The View’
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Sodom And Gomorrah Set To Host 2028 Olympics - Article image
Sodom And Gomorrah Set To Host 2028 Olympics
Sports · Jul 27, 2024 · 185
'We Would Prefer If 3000 Babies Weren't Murdered Every Day,' Says Crowd Of Deranged Extremists - Article image
'We Would Prefer If 3000 Babies Weren't Murdered Every Day,' Says Crowd Of Deranged Extremists
Worldviews · Jan 19, 2024 · 150
Portland Erects Statue In Honor Of Antifa Rioters Who Tore Down All The Statues - Article image
Portland Erects Statue In Honor Of Antifa Rioters Who Tore Down All The Statues
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White House Sends Beto To Help Taliban Confiscate Afghans' Weapons - Article image
White House Sends Beto To Help Taliban Confiscate Afghans' Weapons
Politics · Aug 28, 2021 · 101
Labor Shortage Hits Local Chick-Fil-A As They Only Have 68 People Working Their Drive-Thru - Article image
Labor Shortage Hits Local Chick-Fil-A As They Only Have 68 People Working Their Drive-Thru
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Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Alligator Alcatraz - Article image
Premium · Jul 1, 2025 · 156
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Alligator Alcatraz

Trump announced Alligator Alcatraz is open for business now. This is a perfect opportunity for our Babylon Bee community to pitch alligator headlines....
New Video - What If the Constitution Were Written Today? - Article image
Premium · Jun 25, 2025 · 35
New Video - What If the Constitution Were Written Today?

What if the Constitution as we know it had never been written and had instead been left to modern politicians to draft? Find out all this and more in ...
The Buzz #006: Yes - Article image
Premium · Jun 24, 2025 · 59
The Buzz #006: Yes

Yes. It looks like Donald Trump decided to bomb Iran's heavily guarded nuclear sites with bunker buster bombs and then a ceasefire broke out. However,...
What Is Your Favorite Translation Of The Bible? - Article image
Premium · Jun 23, 2025 · 202
What Is Your Favorite Translation Of The Bible?

Going into the archives, we found this great Babylon Bee article:

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Paw Patrol Replaces Chase The Cop With Karl The Antifa Rioter - Article image
Paw Patrol Replaces Chase The Cop With Karl The Antifa Rioter
Entertainment · Jun 11, 2020 · 58
Florida Recount Finally Wraps Up, Al Gore Declared President - Article image
Florida Recount Finally Wraps Up, Al Gore Declared President
Politics · Nov 9, 2018 · 30
Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts - Article image
Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts
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Girlfriend Keeps Referring To Herself As 'Wife-Elect' Despite No Official Word From Boyfriend - Article image
Girlfriend Keeps Referring To Herself As 'Wife-Elect' Despite No Official Word From Boyfriend
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Everyone Jumps Off Bridge After New Government Order Telling Everyone To Jump Off Bridge - Article image
Everyone Jumps Off Bridge After New Government Order Telling Everyone To Jump Off Bridge
Politics · Apr 3, 2020 · 26
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record - Article image
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record
Sports · Oct 25, 2019 · 44

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