NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, NASA has sent a brand new rover to search for any signs of intelligent life on The View.
NASA scientists, who launched the mission in an attempt to answer the age-old question of whether or not intelligent life existed on the set of the popular daytime talk show, remained skeptical that any evidence would be found.
"From what we've seen so far, it doesn't look good," said Dr. Edgar Barnhouse, who led the research team. "Rumors have always existed that there may be intelligent life on The View, but until now, we've never encountered any concrete proof. This mission was intended to answer the question once and for all."
"So far, our sensors have detected nothing."
Viewers were eager to learn the results of the rover expedition. "I've always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist," said Janelle Parker, who has watched the show since its inception. "For years, I've pondered the existence of intelligent life on The View, but everyone thought I was crazy. Chances may be slim, but I'm holding out hope that they can find proof."
Early reports indicated that the rover had yet to encounter any sentient creatures. "Nothing of note has been revealed," Barhnhouse said. "Just a pile of organic goo called a ‘Whoopi Goldberg' and some old fossilized remains that have been identified as once being Joy Behar. But nothing intelligent."
At publishing time, NASA said the mission would also explore the studio to learn whether or not it truly was once inhabited by the enormous, vicious beast known as Rosie O'Donnell.
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