7 Major Advantages Of Female Umpires

Sports · Aug 13, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
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While naysayers doubted Major League Baseball's decision to hire its first female umpire, the advantages have already proved undeniable. Here are seven huge benefits of having lady umps:

  1. They are better at sweeping up home plate: It will be so much more neat and tidy.

  2. Managers won't bother arguing with umpires since they know they'll lose: Managers will simply say "I'm sorry" and move on.

  3. Doesn't hurt to get hit in the boobs: We think.

  4. Women are never wrong so female umps are always 100% accurate: It's truly remarkable.

  5. Players will stop using profanity since a lady is present: No more potty mouths out there.

  6. Their superior laundry skills can help get the stains out of uniforms: A solution at last.

  7. All the players will get juice boxes after the game, win or lose: Hooray!

Great move, MLB. Let us know of any other perks there are to having lady umpires.


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