Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Trending Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Trending Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Skip to main content
Sorry Excuse For American Hasn't Blown Off Single Finger With Fireworks - Article image
U.S. · Jul 4, 2025 · 56
Sorry Excuse For American Hasn't Blown Off Single Finger With Fireworks

LEE'S SUMMIT, MO - As people across the nation prepared to celebrate the 4th of July holiday, one sorry excuse for an American revealed he had yet to ...

Archaeologists Discover King Saul's Ouija Board - Article image
Theology · Jul 4, 2025 · 46
Archaeologists Discover King Saul's Ouija Board

JERICHO - Another fascinating piece of the biblical history puzzle fell into place this week, as archaeologists announced the discovery of what is bel...

Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States - Article image
U.S. · Jul 3, 2025 · 52
Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a sickening display of cold-heartedness, American leftists are demanding that immigrants stay in the evil, oppressive regime of ...
Planned Parenthood Warns Funding Cut Will Result In Birth Of Thousands Of Babies
Planned Parenthood Warns Funding Cut Will Result In Birth Of Thousands Of Babies
Planned Parenthood Warns Funding Cut Will Result In Birth Of Thousands Of Babies - Featured article image
U.S. · Jul 4, 2025 · 93

U.S. - Following the passing of President Donald Trump's historic "Big Beautiful Bill" to set the government's spending budget, Planned Parenthood war...

Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot - Article image
Crime · Jul 3, 2025 · 82
Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot

CHICAGO - Chicago native Matthew Hayes reportedly defied all odds this week by not being shot.

Crime · Jul 3, 2025 · 82
Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot

Breaking: Chicago Man Not Shot - Featured article image
CHICAGO - Chicago native Matthew Hayes reportedly defied all odds this week by not being shot.
Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States - Article image
U.S. · Jul 3, 2025 · 52
Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a sickening display of cold-heartedness, American leftists are demanding that immigrants stay in the evil, oppressive regime of ...

Subscriber Headlines

Iran Puts McDonald’s Signs In Front Of Remaining Nuclear Facilities So Trump Stops Bombing Them

Jun 26, 2025 | Hustler Family


Sad! Husband Loses Man Card After Needing More Than Two Minutes To Pack For Family Vacation

Jul 3, 2025 | westland619


Iran Signs Ceasefire After Ayatollah Khamenei Unable To Find Affordable Life Insurance

Jun 23, 2025 | Christ is Risen

Visit Forum

New Store Merch

Latest

View All
LOOOOL Check Out This So-Called 'MAN' Who's Doing CARDIO (A Type Of Exercise For GIRLS) - Article image
LOOOOL Check Out This So-Called 'MAN' Who's Doing CARDIO (A Type Of Exercise For GIRLS)
Opinion · Jul 3, 2025 · 93
Continental Congress Reluctantly Agrees To Trim Down Name Of ‘Big Beautiful Declaration Of Independence’ - Article image
Continental Congress Reluctantly Agrees To Trim Down Name Of ‘Big Beautiful Declaration Of Independence’
History · Jul 3, 2025 · 30
Journalist Up Late Trying To Decide Whether To Compare Trump's Bill To Jim Crow Or Holocaust - Article image
Journalist Up Late Trying To Decide Whether To Compare Trump's Bill To Jim Crow Or Holocaust
Politics · Jul 3, 2025 · 69
Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item 'Box Of Things We Found At The Beach' - Article image
Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item 'Box Of Things We Found At The Beach'
U.S. · Jul 2, 2025 · 74
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die - Article image
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die
Politics · Jul 2, 2025 · 58
Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons - Article image
Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons
U.S. · Jul 2, 2025 · 141

Buzzing

View All
10 Exciting Changes Disney Is Bringing To The Indiana Jones Reboot - Article image
Entertainment · Jul 3, 2025 · 105
10 Exciting Changes Disney Is Bringing To The Indiana Jones Reboot

According to rumors, Disney and Lucasfilm are looking at rebooting the beloved Indiana Jones film series sans Harrison Ford, leading fans to speculate...
Millions Reported Dead As 'Big Beautiful Bill' Passes - Article image
Headline Says It All · Jul 3, 2025 · 83
Millions Reported Dead As 'Big Beautiful Bill' Passes

WORLD - Millions of people instantly died today after the Big, Beautiful Bill passed Congress.
How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July - Article image
Politics · Jul 2, 2025 · 99
How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July

It's birthday time once again for the greatest nation on earth: America. Everybody likes to celebrate 'Murica a little differently - here are how nine...
Wail Of Agony Heard From Satan's Office As Planned Parenthood Defunded - Article image
U.S. · Jul 3, 2025 · 91
Wail Of Agony Heard From Satan's Office As Planned Parenthood Defunded

HELL - A wailing, screeching sound was heard from the Devil's office today following the defunding of Planned Parenthood by the United States Governme...

Must Read

Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off - Article image
Celebs · Jul 2, 2025 · 87
Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off

LOS ANGELES - Sean "Diddy" Combs celebrated his acquittal on sex trafficking and racketeering charges this morning by hosting a massive "freak-off."
Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12 - Article image
Politics · Jul 1, 2025 · 106
Illegal Immigrants Removed From Census, Leaving California With Population Of 12

U.S. - Population numbers have shifted drastically in light of new changes to the census program, which remove illegal immigrants from official popula...
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes - Article image
Op-Ed · Jul 2, 2025 · 120
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes

Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women's Swim Coach - Article image
Sports · Jul 2, 2025 · 49
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women's Swim Coach

PHILADELPHIA - In addition to stripping transgender swimmer Lia Thomas of his titles the University of Pennsylvania has agreed to hire on Matt Walsh a...

Don't Miss

Biden Calls For Two Weeks Of Not Cooking On Gas Stoves To Flatten The Curve - Article image
Politics · Jan 14, 2023 · 153
Biden Calls For Two Weeks Of Not Cooking On Gas Stoves To Flatten The Curve

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Joe Biden has called on Americans to refrain from cooking with gas stoves for the next two weeks to help "flatten the cur...
8 Best Reasons To Start WWIII Today - Article image
8 Best Reasons To Start WWIII Today
World · Mar 18, 2022 · 123
To Prevent Their Kids From Being Socially Awkward And Weird, More Parents Opting To Homeschool - Article image
To Prevent Their Kids From Being Socially Awkward And Weird, More Parents Opting To Homeschool
Christian Living · Aug 27, 2021 · 152
Ivy League Student Leaves Lecture On Microaggressions To Attend ‘Kill The Jews’ Rally - Article image
Ivy League Student Leaves Lecture On Microaggressions To Attend ‘Kill The Jews’ Rally
Education · Oct 11, 2023 · 169
Party Controlling Executive, Legislative Branches Blames Minority Party For Everything Going Wrong - Article image
Party Controlling Executive, Legislative Branches Blames Minority Party For Everything Going Wrong
Politics · Jun 23, 2021 · 80
White House Implements New Policy Of Dropping All Illegal Immigrants Off At Nancy Pelosi's House - Article image
White House Implements New Policy Of Dropping All Illegal Immigrants Off At Nancy Pelosi's House
Politics · Apr 15, 2019 · 6
God Agrees To Let Norm MacDonald Come Back To Earth For One Day To Bless Us With His O.J. Death Jokes - Article image
God Agrees To Let Norm MacDonald Come Back To Earth For One Day To Bless Us With His O.J. Death Jokes
Christian Living · Apr 14, 2024 · 106

Premium Content

View All
New Video - In Powerful Dissent, Ketanji Brown Jackson Writes 'Wakanda Forever' - Article image
Premium · Jul 3, 2025 · 27
New Video - In Powerful Dissent, Ketanji Brown Jackson Writes 'Wakanda Forever'

Check out the latest reporting from the team of certified fake news journalists at the Babylon Bee News Desk over on Bee Minus!
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Alligator Alcatraz - Article image
Premium · Jul 1, 2025 · 224
Stock Photo Headline Challenge: Alligator Alcatraz

Trump announced Alligator Alcatraz is open for business now. This is a perfect opportunity for our Babylon Bee community to pitch alligator headlines....
New Video - What If the Constitution Were Written Today? - Article image
Premium · Jun 25, 2025 · 38
New Video - What If the Constitution Were Written Today?

What if the Constitution as we know it had never been written and had instead been left to modern politicians to draft? Find out all this and more in ...
The Buzz #006: Yes - Article image
Premium · Jun 24, 2025 · 60
The Buzz #006: Yes

Yes. It looks like Donald Trump decided to bomb Iran's heavily guarded nuclear sites with bunker buster bombs and then a ceasefire broke out. However,...

Greatest Hits

View All
Husband Daycare Now Available At All Hobby Lobby Locations - Article image
Husband Daycare Now Available At All Hobby Lobby Locations
Christian Living · Aug 7, 2019 · 27
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques - Article image
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
World · Jun 15, 2021 · 144
Broward County Brings In Expert Consultant To Speed Up Ballot Count - Article image
Broward County Brings In Expert Consultant To Speed Up Ballot Count
Politics · Nov 13, 2018 · 19
Judge Dismisses Sexual Assault Allegations Against Biden On Grounds That He Is Not A Republican - Article image
Judge Dismisses Sexual Assault Allegations Against Biden On Grounds That He Is Not A Republican
Politics · Apr 28, 2020 · 14
Jussie Smollett Offered Job At CNN After Fabricating News Story Out Of Thin Air - Article image
Jussie Smollett Offered Job At CNN After Fabricating News Story Out Of Thin Air
Politics · Feb 18, 2019 · 24
Alyssa Milano Confirms FBI Investigators Have Not Reached Out To Her To Get A Celebrity's Opinion On Kavanaugh Yet - Article image
Alyssa Milano Confirms FBI Investigators Have Not Reached Out To Her To Get A Celebrity's Opinion On Kavanaugh Yet
Politics · Oct 2, 2018 · 10

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2025 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.