SAN FRANCISCO, CA—This morning, Nancy Pelosi began her daily routine. She put on a pot of coffee, brushed her teeth, and oiled up her squeaky joints. Emerging into the living room, however, she encountered a shocking scene.
President Trump was just leaving from having dropped off a truckload of illegal immigrants right into Pelosi's living room, part of a new test program being implemented by the White House this week.
"Good luck, Nance! Ha!" Trump shouted as he jumped back in the presidential Ford F-150 and drove away.
According to sources with ICE, Trump had picked them all up in the California desert late Sunday evening, promising them steady work. He then high-tailed it to San Francisco, careened the truck straight through the large wall surrounding Nancy Pelosi's residence, and backed it up to her living room window.
"OK, everyone out!" he had bellowed. "Get-oh out-oh of the truck-o! Exitomundo, pronto! Arriba!" Trump then threw a tortilla into the middle of Nancy Pelosi's living room in an attempt to get the frightened immigrants moving. Finally, he just began ranting incoherently about Mexico, Robert Mueller, and witch hunts, which scared them enough to cause them to scramble into Pelosi's house.
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Pelosi called security to remove the immigrants from her home and rebuild her wall.