America's 38th state is often assumed to be just one giant mountain, but it's so much more! For example, the state bird is lark bunting. Bet you didn't know that.
Here are ten incredible reasons to move to Colorado today:
The unique combination of fresh mountain air and marijuana smoke: Truly breathtaking.
Cultural experience of Venezuelan gangs right from your own apartment complex: Very enriching.
Top of the line healing crystals and chakra adjusters: Not applicable to Christians.
Rumor going around that some day it will get a professional baseball team: That would be really cool.
You get to dress like you're going on a hike, even if you never go on hikes: Fun!
It's not South Dakota: Awesome.
Opening a bakery as a Christian is a cheap and convenient way to get sent to prison: Bake that cake!
All the fresh Rocky Mountain Oysters you can eat: UPDATE — DO NOT EAT THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS WE REPEAT DO NOT EAT!
John Denver wrote a really nice song about it: Also applies to West Virginia.
Skiing offers a wide new range of exciting ways to die: Hooray!
Colorado is truly a remarkable place. If you haven't been to Colorado, then have you ever truly lived? Don't even think about it, just relocate your whole family and start a new life as a hipster in the centennial state.
The Babylon Bee finally exposes everything about the Jews in this documentary of hard-hitting investigative journalism.
