LA MIRADA, CA—Famed Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias shocked crowds both live and online on Saturday when he absolutely devastated atheist debate opponent Sam Hawkins with a jaw-rocking shoryuken, uppercutting the scholar and sending him flying over 200 feet to the back of the auditorium. Zacharias himself lept an estimated 14 feet off the ground to perform the attack.
The Shoryuken (or "Rising Dragon Fist") is a special attack made famous in the Street Fighter videogame franchise used by Ryu, Ken, and other similarly-styled characters. The move is performed by using the dominant fist to uppercut your opponent under the chin while focusing dragon energy into your knuckles while jumping forcefully in an upward motion. The upward impact sends the victim of the blow reeling, often ending the fight.
Hawkins was rushed to intensive care at St. Joseph Hospital. Doctors say he may never walk or speak again, and will likely eat only Jell-O for the rest of his life.
Zacharias was characteristically humble after the absolute slaying, telling reporters that all the glory for that brain-shattering rising dragon fist be unto God, for he is but a vessel of the Lord's martial artistry.