Science
· Jul 12, 2025
· 52
Scientist At 7th Jurassic Park Asks If Maybe They Should Just Make Papier-Mâché Dinosaurs This Time
JURASSIC PARK - A scientist working on the seventh iteration of Jurassic Park asked his bosses today if perhaps they should consider making the dinosa...
Entertainment
· Jul 11, 2025
· 55
Dumbledore Starting To Wonder If Having A House Filled With Racist Murderers Named After Snakes Such A Good Idea
HOGWARTS - Headmaster Albus Dumbledore admitted he was beginning to question the sensibility of having an entire house of students named after an evil...
Latest
Malfunction As Animatronic Trump Keeps Rounding Up All The Mexican Guests And Deporting Them From Disney World
U.S. · Jul 11, 2025
· 59
Life’s Struggles Causing Atheist To Lose His Faith In The Existence Of Nothing
Theology · Jul 11, 2025
· 69
MTG Press Conference On Cloud Seeding Interrupted By Tornado
U.S. · Jul 11, 2025
· 60
Pam Bondi Confirms Greedo Shot First
U.S. · Jul 10, 2025
· 82
New White Sox City Connect Jerseys Feature Bullet Holes, Realistic Blood Splatter
Sports · Jul 10, 2025
· 64
Jesus's Defense Lawyer Facepalms As Client Says 'Yes, I Am The Messiah, And You Will See The Son Of Man Sitting At The Right Hand Of The Mighty One And Coming On The Clouds Of Heaven.'
Theology · Jul 10, 2025
· 87
Buzzing
Politics
· Jul 11, 2025
· 77
Gavin Newsom Declares California A Sanctuary State For Child Slavery
SACRAMENTO, CA - In the latest front on his war against the Trump administration's immigration policies, Governor Gavin Newsom officially declared Cal...
Culture
· Jul 10, 2025
· 151
9 Exciting New Inclusive Barbies
With Mattel's introduction of a Barbie doll with Type 1 diabetes, the toy industry was abuzz with rumors of other inclusive Barbie dolls that could be...
U.S.
· Jul 9, 2025
· 107
7 Totally Plausible Explanations For What Happened To The Epstein List On Pam Bondi's Desk
Attorney General Pam Bondi is in hot water today after the Epstein list that was "on her desk" a few months ago somehow went missing. Before you start...
Tech
· Jul 11, 2025
· 89
Progress: A.I. Now Only Racist Against Italians
SUNNYVALE, CA - In a clear sign of progress, developers confirmed that A.I. was now only racist against Italians.
Must Read
Politics
· Jul 8, 2025
· 106
Bondi Explains She Was Going To Release The Epstein Files But Then Some Pedophiles Asked Her Not To
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Attorney General Pam Bondi explained today that she was really going to release all of the Epstein files, but some pedophiles asked...
Politics
· Jul 10, 2025
· 105
Republicans Unveil Debt Plan: Transfer Balance To Capital One Credit Card With 0% Intro APR
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move that experts said could finally resolve the deficit crisis once and for all, congressional Republicans unveiled a new deb...
Sports
· Jul 10, 2025
· 65
New WNBA Video Game Adds Option To Shiv Caitlin Clark
U.S. - In a feature that fans praised for bringing a new level of realism to the playing experience, developers of the WNBA mode for the new NBA 2K26 ...
U.S.
· Jul 9, 2025
· 83
Former White House Doctor Denies Ever Knowing A 'Joe Biden'
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former White House Physician Dr. Kevin O'Connor, who served from 2020-2024, testified this morning that he has never known any pers...
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Premium
· Jul 10, 2025
· 142
New Video - Democrats Brainstorm Genius Ways To Appeal To Men
Desperate to win back male voters, Democrat strategists propose bold new ideas. Will they work, or backfire spectacularly?
Premium
· Jul 9, 2025
· 39
Only On Bee Minus! The Buzz #008: Thank You For Your Attention To This Matter
The Babylon Bee is talking about how there's no Epstein list, Trump's Big Beautiful Bill passed, and Red Lobster is selling a new entree called 'Box O...
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· Jul 7, 2025
· 32
Bee Minus Exclusive! The Buzz #007: Big, Beautiful Debt
The Buzz is only available on Bee Minus! Don't miss the latest episode where your trusted team of certified fake news journalists talked about the One...
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· Jul 7, 2025
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Alligator Alcatraz Stock Photo Headline Challenge Winner!
There were many contenders for the top headline in this stock photo headline challenge, but let's all acknowledge the genius of westland619 with his w...
Greatest Hits
Migrant Caravan Mysteriously Disappears But Leaves Behind Cool Wooden Horse
World · Oct 24, 2018
· 15
Hillary Clinton: 'The Only Crime I Ever Committed Was Stealing The Hearts Of The American People'
Politics · Nov 12, 2018
· 24
Nation's Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden
Health · Mar 12, 2020
· 13
CNN Publishes Real News Story For April Fools' Day
Politics · Apr 1, 2019
· 12
Report: Internet Users Who Call For Attacking Other Countries Will Now Be Enlisted In The Military Automatically
Politics · Jun 21, 2019
· 25
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