Scientist At 7th Jurassic Park Asks If Maybe They Should Just Make Papier-Mâché Dinosaurs This Time

Science · Jul 12, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Scientist At 7th Jurassic Park Asks If Maybe They Should Just Make Papier-Mâché Dinosaurs This Time

JURASSIC PARK — A scientist working on the seventh iteration of Jurassic Park asked his bosses today if perhaps they should consider making the dinosaurs out of papier-mâché this time.

With the last six Jurassic Parks all closing in disaster after several people were mauled and eaten by actual dinosaurs, Dr. Shleby Lewis began to question the wisdom of making the exact same park a seventh time.

"I'm not trying to be a 'Negative Nancy' here, but there seems to be a pattern with these Jurassic Parks," said Dr. Lewis. "Maybe, I don't know, we just make a brontosaurus out of papier-mâché and call it good? After six straight times of people dying gruesome deaths getting eaten alive, I'm just having second thoughts."

According to sources at the forthcoming park, the other scientists have ignored Dr. Lewis and ruthlessly mocked him for being a big baby. "What a scaredy-cat," said fellow scientist Dr. Ray McAdams. "Big wimp, all afraid of bringing a 12,000-pound insane predator to life and turning it loose in a park with humans. We obviously learned what the other six parks did wrong and have it all squared away. Everything is going to go perfectly to plan and no one will get ripped in half by a Spinosaurus or anything."

At publishing time, Dr. McAdams had been ripped literally in half by a Spinosaurus as somehow things didn't go quite to plan.


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