U.S./MEXICO BORDER—The migrant caravan headed for the U.S. has been the center of much controversy, but the problem seems to have solved itself, as the entire caravan has mysteriously disappeared.
In other, unrelated, good news, there's now a really cool-looking giant wooden horse sitting right at the U.S. border, fresh for the taking.
The wooden horse is massive in size -- big enough to fit thousands of people inside if it were hollow (though judging by its weight, the horse is already filled with something). It could make a neat tourist attraction, and President Trump was quick to call dibs on it. "That's my horse; I saw it first!" Trump said in a public statement. "It's the biggest and best horse ever, so obviously it's meant for me. Bring it across the border immediately before someone else takes it!"
Workers are already busy moving the horse, which is conveniently on four giant wooden wheels. "Remember Troy!" called out one of the workers as they began moving it. It's unclear what Troy, a character from the NBC sitcom Community played by famous actor/musician Donald Glover, has to do with a large, wooden horse, but remembering his antics did put a smile on everyone's faces as they began the hard work of moving the massive horse across the U.S. border.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.