JERUSALEM — A Galilean teacher arrested just outside the city during the night reportedly frustrated his court-appointed public defense lawyer during a Sanhedrin trial, after he stood before Caiaphas and proclaimed: "Yes, I am the Messiah, and you will see the son of man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of Heaven."
"I advised my client to stay completely silent during the proceedings," said the defeated lawyer with his head in his hands. "And then he just blurts out something like this. It's like this guy is trying to get himself killed."
The lawyer had hastily prepared a strategy before the trial, only to have the carpenter-turned-traveling-preacher wreck the entire plan by voluntarily engaging in what the court immediately took as an admission of blasphemy.
"Welp, there goes my airtight defense strategy," the attorney was heard muttering to himself in frustration. "I get that this guy has built up a pretty strong following over the last few years, but I'm trying to provide some type of legal representation here. That's all out the window now."
The fast-tracked proceedings were wrapped up soon afterward, with the defendant being taken to appear before Pilate. "This will really hurt my career," the defense lawyer said afterward. "He seemed like a really good guy, and I don't think being executed is warranted in this case, but man… when you're being accused of blasphemy and you straight-up make a public statement like that in court… what can you expect?"
At publishing time, the defense attorney was reportedly pleased to learn that his previous client, Barabbas, had been released from prison.
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