NEW YORK, NY — Twenty-five years after Americans from all walks of life had pledged to "Never Forget" the horrific terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, sources confirmed that the nation had, indeed, forgotten.
Despite an overflow of patriotism in the hearts of everyone following the largest terrorist attack ever carried out on American soil, millions of Americans revealed that they had, in fact, forgotten everything that happened that day and instead elected leaders who champion the spread of Islam in the U.S. and refer to the tragedy as "loss of life" instead of "terrorism."
"Was there something significant on this date?" asked one New Yorker. "I vaguely remember people making a big deal about something around this time every year, but I don't really recall what it was. Something about airplanes? Tall buildings? I don't know. How cool is it that Mayor Mamdani is promising free bus fare and city-run grocery stores, though, right?"
Those who inhabit the city where terrorists flew passenger jets into the Twin Towers and extinguished the lives of thousands of fellow New Yorkers admitted that, despite vowing otherwise, they had no recollection of what transpired a quarter-century ago. "Yeah, no memory here," said one resident. "I remember being really adamant that I never would, but yeah… totally forgot."
The city's Muslim, socialist, terror-justifying mayor confirmed the collective case of amnesia. "Isn't it great?" Mamdani said. "Twenty-five years ago, nobody could have imagined that I'd be elected mayor of this city. Now, I can declare my auntie the real victim of that day. She's what everyone should remember."
At publishing time, Mamdani had promised to bring charges against any New Yorker who shed any tears on 9/11.
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