HELM'S DEEP, WESTFOLD OF ROHAN — Legal observers have clashed with immigration enforcement officers under the command of King Théoden at the tower fortress at Helm's Deep.
One thousand militarized border patrol agents, led by Théoden, were heading to the Fords of Isen for routine immigration enforcement operations after hearing that the border was being crossed illegally by foreign migrants. But when Théoden heard from messengers that the Fords of Isen were completely overrun with illegal immigrants, Théoden diverted his agents to the Hornburg, the tower fortification where legal observers soon began to swarm around the walls.
"No ICE, no ICE, no ICE," chanted the legal observers as they attempted to break down the fortress's gate with a battering ram. "We're recording you! We're recording you! No Orc is illegal!"
"What can men do against such reckless hate?" murmured King Théoden.
Experts say legal observers have no legal right to obstruct or prevent law enforcement officers from doing their jobs, but that didn't stop these legal observers from launching an assault on the fortress.
The legal observers formed a siege against the Hornburg to prevent Théoden's agents from deporting anyone from the country. They began to scale the walls with ladders and even used blasting fire on a culvert to further obstruct and harass the immigration enforcement officers.
At publishing time, deputized Border Czar Gandalf the White and Marshal of the West-mark Erkenbrand had brought in another 1,000 immigration enforcers to bring a brutal end to the clash with the legal observers in what Democrats are calling a shocking blow to Rohan's democracy.
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