MONTECITO, CA — The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have announced a brand-new Netflix docuseries entitled Harry and Meghan that talks about why the famous couple wishes they had more privacy.

"Our groundbreaking series, which drops on December 8, covers the trials and tribulations of constantly being in the public eye with no privacy," said Meghan to reporters. "Most people — the rustic farmhands and lowly milkmaids of America — haven't a clue how difficult it is to be as wealthy, famous, and oppressed as we are. We hope you enjoy walking through all six hour-long episodes in our shoes."

Reception of the announcement has been mixed, with reactions ranging from those asking who "Harry" is and others who are asking what the heck a "Sussex" is.

"We hope everyone will watch this new peek into our lives so we make some money, and please give us some bloody privacy," said Harry. "For goodness sake, leave us alone! This isn't fair! I can't do this anymore! PLEASE!!"

At publishing time, Netflix's hopes for strong viewership were dashed when Meghan told Oprah that white people watching the show was an act of racist voyeurism.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.