OTTAWA — With the United States imposing massive tariffs on Canada over the weekend, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney vowed to bring the U.S. to its knees with a crippling moose tariff.
Negotiations, which seemed on track last week to produce a new trade agreement between the two nations, broke down suddenly. In the aftermath, President Donald Trump imposed stiff tariffs of up to 50% to protect American manufacturing. Carney, however, stated that he was prepared to do likewise to protect Canada's moose.
"Canada will not back down. If the U.S. does not come back to the table, I am prepared to unleash the most crushing moose tariff in history," said Carney. "Our resolve is unwavering. We do not wish to cripple the American moose trade, but I will not hesitate to do so for the good of Canada. Trump has 48 hours to respond or face the devastating moose consequences."
Foreign policy experts stated that the escalation of threats between the two nations had no historic precedent. "In Canadian terms, a moose tariff is the nuclear option," explained longtime diplomat Jason Kavanaugh. "They do not have nuclear weapons, but they do have moose. Lots of moose. Someone has to be the bigger person in this moment and stop playing this dangerous game of brinksmanship."
At publishing time, Trump had vowed to respond to the moose tariff by launching a military offensive against the Canadian moose population.
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