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The end is officially near, as Democrats' midterm wins have swept them back into power, giving America — and indeed freedom itself — mere days left to live. Fortunately, you still have time to enjoy some of life's sweetest liberties before democracy dies.
The Babylon Bee has compiled the following helpful list of things you should go enjoy right now before the Democrats usher in a communist regime:
Eating the first of the strawberries with cream: Everyone knows communists hate strawberries.
Being able to pee standing up: This activity will now only be reserved for women who pretend to be men.
Calling someone a "homo": This will once again be strictly forbidden.
Speaking English: English is literally hate speech.
Watching the scene from the Disney classic Peter Pan where they sing "What Made the Red Man Red?": This gem will soon be stricken from existence.
Using protein powder with your workouts: Physical strength among the populace must not be allowed.
Hitting on your secretary: Do it now before the start of #MeToo 2.0.
Drinking your beverage through a plastic straw: Here comes the paper straw Gestapo.
Sleeping on your MyPillow: They'll all be hurled into space under the new regime.
Saying "God bless you" when someone sneezes: What are you, some type of religious extremist?
Being white: This will be the worst crime of all.
Do all the things listed above while you still can, because before long, they'll all result in you being sent to the gulags. What other things are you going to enjoy one last time before the Democrats take over? Post them in the comments.
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