WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a "blue wave" midterm election ushered in a 55-seat Democratic majority in the Senate, Satan once again emerged as the clear favorite to become the Senate Majority Leader.
Democrats have until January 3, 2027, when all the new senators are sworn into office and the new Congress organizes, to determine who will lead the party in Senate proceedings. While there was still time for the Senate Democratic Caucus to find another candidate for the position of Senate Majority Leader, many Democratic senators immediately threw their weight behind the Prince of Darkness getting the job again.
"The Devil has shown in the past that he is more than capable in the role and I have no doubt he will do a great job," said Senator Chuck Schumer. "He knows what we Democrats are trying to accomplish in this new Congress and I can't think of anyone better to set our legislative calendar."
The Senate Majority Leader role typically controls the Senate floor agenda, deciding which bills, nominations, and resolutions come up for debate, and serves as one of the prominent public faces of the party to the American people. Many Democrats in Washington said they felt hard-pressed to come up with any better representative of the Democratic Party's agenda than the Great Deceiver.
"He's the Father of Lies. It's in his nature to lie, so, of course, he's also a masterful politician," said Senator Amy Klobuchar. "He's the Accuser, so He knows all the dirt on Trump's nominees. Plus, he really likes to kill babies, which is like our top priority in the Senate."
At publishing time, Satan was spotted cackling in the Dirksen Senate Office Building as he rearranged his office furniture and adjusted to his new digs.
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