OMAHA, NE — Local husband Terry McGerry was seen beaming with confidence as he waited in line at the department store checkout, having picked out the wrong Christmas present for his wife weeks earlier than usual.
According to witnesses, McGerry marveled at having purchased the wrong present 21 days before his usual frenzied Christmas Eve shopping spree, asking the store clerk to please wrap the incorrect gift. He then selected wrapping paper his wife would hate and an elegant lace bow that did not match at all.
"I feel like a new man!" Onlookers heard McGerry exclaim as he left the store, a gift-wrapped box tucked under his arm that would find itself back in the same store within 48 hours of Christmas morning. "I just love the magical season of giving and returning for something better."
At publishing time, Abigail McGerry had just purchased her husband a boringly practical Christmas present.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
