Hey there! Are you a minority? Then you're in luck! Benevolent politicians are working for you. This is the best time to be a minority because if there's one thing we know about politicians, it's that they care!

Here are just a few of the things our politicians are doing for minorities:

1. They give you fun new nicknames like "breakfast taco": Now people can know how colorfully diverse your culture is!
2. They carry around hot sauce in their purses: They're just like you!
3. They will never hold you accountable for anything: Unless you're Asian.
4. They identify you by the color of your skin rather than the content of your character: Just as Martin Luther King envisioned.
5. They end the genocide of your race by relabeling it "women's healthcare": Yay, abortion!
6. They work tirelessly to make you dependent on the government: And then once you're dependent on the government, they'll tell you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Confusing!
7. They will destroy your job, which gives you the chance to reflect on what's most important in life: Do you really need food, anyway?
8. Reparations are coming your way for something, probably: Just keep punching that ballot! We're sure they're coming! Any day now...
9. Dodging bullets in Chicago is a great exercise: And Detroit is an epic obstacle course!

NOT SATIRE: A message from Candace Owens, the Co-Founder of the BLEXIT Foundation!

Woke radicals are attacking the nuclear family and dividing Black America. Our education system is brainwashing students in urban communities to believe in a culture of victimhood, despise America, and embrace an anti-family woke ideology.

That's why I co-founded the BLEXIT Foundation. The BLEXIT movement is the "Black Exit" from victimhood and brainwashing from the media and education system. My organization empowers young minorities with a message of Faith, Family, and Freedom.

Please help me fight back against these radicals by empowering young people with our message. I'm asking the Babylon Bee to help me raise $10,000 for the BLEXIT Foundation. You can donate $10, $50, $100, $500, $1,000 or even more by clicking here.

Thank you so much for your support!

Candace Owens

Co-Founder

BLEXIT Foundation

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.