Health
· Jun 25, 2026
· 38
All Of Man's Trauma In Adulthood Can Be Traced Back To Watching 'The Secret Of NIMH' As A Child
SAN JOSE, CA - After years of therapy, a local man finally achieved a major breakthrough in determining the source of his trauma: watching Don Bluth's...
Sports
· Jun 25, 2026
· 31
Video Review Confirms Soccer Player A Little Wuss
ARLINGTON, TX - After video review, a soccer player has been confirmed to be a total wuss.
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· Jun 24, 2026
· 113
The Most Common Cause Of Death In Each Of The 50 States
A decades-long study by the CDC concluded that each American state bears its own unique leading cause of death.
Culture
· Jun 22, 2026
· 118
Visitors From Europe Tell Us Their 13 Most Surprising Discoveries In America
The World Cup has brought real excitement to these American shores, and not just in the form of soccer, but in the innocent, wide-eyed discoveries of ...
Life
· Jun 23, 2026
· 56
'What A Good Little Kitty You Are,' Owner Says To Cat Who Is Currently Plotting Her Violent Death
TULSA, OK - Local cat owner Melissa Darst bent down this morning to pat and praise her kitty, Bella, briefly interrupting Bella's plotting of her owne...
Politics
· Jun 24, 2026
· 66
New Yorkers Excited To See How Never-Before-Tried Government Called ‘Socialism’ Turns Out
NEW YORK, NY - Citizens of New York are reportedly excited to see how this brand-new, never-before-tried system of government known as "socialism" wil...
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Entertainment
· Jun 23, 2026
· 63
'Supergirl' To Show That Girls Can Be Just As Good As Boys At Everything Except Box Office
U.S. - When Supergirl releases in theaters on June 26, executives from Warner Bros. Pictures expressed confidence that the film would show the world t...
World
· Jun 22, 2026
· 60
Prominent Muslim Leader Resigns
LONDON - In a stunning fall from power, one of the world's foremost Muslim leaders was forced to resign as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
Family
· May 19, 2026
· 51
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Life
· Jun 23, 2026
· 70
Gas Pump Now Asks If You Want Car Wash, Receipt, Rewards, And If You Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow
U.S. - Before allowing customers to fill up with gas, pumps will now ask about a potential car wash, rewards membership, fuel additives, and the airsp...
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Premium
· Jun 15, 2026
· 64
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition
Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
Premium
· May 25, 2026
· 39
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?
Hey, Bee family!
Premium
· May 19, 2026
· 82
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom
As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Premium
· May 18, 2026
· 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
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