Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Videos Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Videos
Newsletter
Shop Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Videos Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop Search
Skip to main content
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut - Article image
Sports · Sep 5, 2026 · 41
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut

TUSCALOOSA, AL - After putting on a superb performance in the season opener, young college football star Davis Mack began worrying that he could wind ...

Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts - Article image
U.S. · Sep 5, 2026 · 74
Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts

WASHINGTON, D.C. - American voters overwhelmingly passed a federal ballot initiative yesterday ordering the removal of Massachusetts from the United S...

Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance - Article image
Politics · Sep 4, 2026 · 63
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance

NEW YORK, NY - New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparatio...
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God - Featured article image
Theology · Sep 5, 2026 · 70

U.S. - As news broke that the murder trial of Lindsay Clancy would end in a mistrial, Heaven released a statement reminding everyone that justice is s...

Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Article image
Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 65
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over

JUDEA - In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy tim...

Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 65
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over

Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Featured article image
JUDEA - In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy tim...
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance - Article image
Politics · Sep 4, 2026 · 63
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance

NEW YORK, NY - New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparatio...

Subscriber Headlines

Supreme Court Rules Democrats Must Steal Elections In Person

Aug 24, 2026 | Jesus defeated death so you can live


Democrats Promise To Make Illegal Alien Voting: Safe, Legal And Rare

Aug 30, 2026 | Jesus defeated death so you can live


Pastor Agonizing About Which Greek Word To Explain This Week In His Sermon

Aug 29, 2026 | Farming Like Nineteen Ninety Nine

Visit Forum


Latest

View All
Hollywood Colorist Fired After Accidentally Leaving Color In Film - Article image
Hollywood Colorist Fired After Accidentally Leaving Color In Film
Entertainment · Sep 4, 2026 · 60
Bari Weiss Facing Credible Allegations Of Doing Journalism - Article image
Bari Weiss Facing Credible Allegations Of Doing Journalism
Media · Sep 4, 2026 · 54
Chicago Teacher Asks Students To Please Raise Their Hands Instead Of Firing Pistols Into The Air - Article image
Chicago Teacher Asks Students To Please Raise Their Hands Instead Of Firing Pistols Into The Air
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 58
Powerful: Gloria Steinem Refuses To Allow Satan To Hold Door To Hell Open For Her - Article image
Powerful: Gloria Steinem Refuses To Allow Satan To Hold Door To Hell Open For Her
Celebs · Sep 3, 2026 · 71
Adventurous Connoisseur Samples The Exotic Delicacies Of The Far East At Local Chinese Buffet - Article image
Adventurous Connoisseur Samples The Exotic Delicacies Of The Far East At Local Chinese Buffet
Culture · Sep 3, 2026 · 87
Pete Hegseth Sets Up 'Help Us Buy Missiles' Lemonade Stand - Article image
Pete Hegseth Sets Up 'Help Us Buy Missiles' Lemonade Stand
U.S. · Sep 3, 2026 · 46

Buzzing

View All
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity - Article image
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 96
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity

U.S. - The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang - Article image
The Bee Explains · Sep 2, 2026 · 191
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang

Connecting with the older folk can be a challenge, especially when you have a hard time understanding what they're saying. But don't worry, if you put...
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans - Article image
Sports · Sep 4, 2026 · 51
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald Trump announced on Friday that he had successfully annexed the Canadian hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, and w...
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian - Article image
Sports · Sep 3, 2026 · 86
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian

JUPITER, FL - A Florida court suspended golf legend Tiger Woods' driver's license for five years after an investigation determined that he is half-Asi...

Must Read

Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries To Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women's Rights, But Her Mouth Is Covered By Hijab - Article image
Politics · Sep 3, 2026 · 64
Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries To Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women's Rights, But Her Mouth Is Covered By Hijab

NEW YORK, NY - Governor Kathy Hochul desperately tried to warn New Yorkers that Republicans were taking away women's rights, but no one in the room co...
Progressive Church To Allow Mail-In Attendance - Article image
Church · Sep 3, 2026 · 69
Progressive Church To Allow Mail-In Attendance

PORTLAND, ME - Progressive local church First United Methodist of Portland announced that it would now be offering a mail-in attendance option for its...
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam - Article image
Education · Sep 1, 2026 · 77
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam

MEDINA, OH - In a terribly unlucky break, local sixth-grader Mackenzie Warner completely flunked her geography test after President Trump renamed ever...
Sauron Insists He Only Tried To Enslave All Of Middle-Earth Because He Was Suffering From Postpartum Depression - Article image
Health · Sep 2, 2026 · 43
Sauron Insists He Only Tried To Enslave All Of Middle-Earth Because He Was Suffering From Postpartum Depression

BARAD-DÛR, MORDOR - Accused of attempting to enslave all the free peoples of Middle-earth and cover the land with darkness, the Dark Lord Sauron expla...

Don't Miss

'I Will Fix Things If You Vote Me Into Office,' Says Woman Currently In Office - Article image
Politics · Aug 12, 2024 · 103
'I Will Fix Things If You Vote Me Into Office,' Says Woman Currently In Office

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The presidential race reached a new level of intensity this week, as the woman who is currently in office and has been serving in t...
Innovative Marketing Geniuses Consider Running A Super Bowl Ad About Social Justice - Article image
Innovative Marketing Geniuses Consider Running A Super Bowl Ad About Social Justice
U.S. · Feb 7, 2021 · 77
9 Places More Positive And Uplifting Than Social Media - Article image
9 Places More Positive And Uplifting Than Social Media
Sponsored · Dec 30, 2024 · 89
The 10 Best Wars Of All Time - Article image
The 10 Best Wars Of All Time
Life · Jun 21, 2021 · 144
After Positive At-Home Test, Couple Plans Elaborate COVID Reveal Party - Article image
After Positive At-Home Test, Couple Plans Elaborate COVID Reveal Party
Health · Jan 7, 2022 · 155
Worship Leader Wishes God Would Have Just Left Us Entire Book Of Worship Songs - Article image
Worship Leader Wishes God Would Have Just Left Us Entire Book Of Worship Songs
Church · Aug 21, 2018 · 7
Dad Prepares Custom First Aid Kit That Consists Entirely Of Cards That Say 'Walk It Off' - Article image
Dad Prepares Custom First Aid Kit That Consists Entirely Of Cards That Say 'Walk It Off'
Family · Jul 5, 2021 · 63

Premium Content

View All
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project - Article image
Premium · Aug 31, 2026 · 73
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project

Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed - Article image
Premium · Aug 27, 2026 · 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed

The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines - Article image
Premium · Aug 24, 2026 · 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines

Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
Okay, Subscribers: What Sort Of Premium Content Would You Like To See? - Article image
Premium · Aug 18, 2026 · 142
Okay, Subscribers: What Sort Of Premium Content Would You Like To See?

A good morning to you all, our fearless band of intrepid subscribers!

Greatest Hits

View All
Mamdani Moves Mayor's Office Under Children's Hospital - Article image
Mamdani Moves Mayor's Office Under Children's Hospital
Politics · Nov 6, 2025 · 120
Panic Erupts On Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine' - Article image
Panic Erupts On Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine'
U.S. · Mar 5, 2023 · 184
Jill Biden Drops Out Of Presidential Race - Article image
Jill Biden Drops Out Of Presidential Race
Politics · Jul 21, 2024 · 136
What's Your Spiritual Gift? Take The Quiz! - Article image
What's Your Spiritual Gift? Take The Quiz!
Christian Living · Mar 23, 2017 · 18
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record - Article image
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record
Sports · Oct 25, 2019 · 45
CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide - Article image
CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Politics · Nov 9, 2017 · 83

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy
  • Donate

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2026 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.