VATICAN CITY — A group of men pretending to be women were invited to the Vatican today to share a special lunch with a man pretending to be Catholic.
"It's a match made in pretend heaven," said local man Angelo Russo as he threw on a dress. "Let's go ladies!"
According to sources at the Vatican, Pope Francis personally scheduled the make-believe playdate. "Haha, look at me, I'm Catholic!" laughed Pope Francis as he welcomed the men in wigs. "Hee-hee, isn't this fun? Oh look! Here comes my favorite priest Father Rupnik, pretending to not be a serial abuser. What fun!"
The group spent roughly an hour eating lunch, maintaining their charades for the duration. "It's so sweet of an elderly man to invite us out to play make-believe," said local man Salvatore Greco. "My family is always saying things like 'Hey, don't inject yourself with dangerous chemicals' - but not Pope Francis. You know, he's pretty good about pretending to be Catholic."
The lunch reportedly consisted of turkey sandwiches that everyone pretended was ham.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
