MINNEAPOLIS, MN — According to reports, a local woman and Congressional representative left Africa and immigrated to Minnesota, in spite of her paralyzing fear of white men.
"White men cause most death and are very scary," said the woman, who fled Somalia in 1991 to escape a bloody civil war and moved to a city in the American Midwest before marrying a white man. "I am terrified of white men every day. They are gross and icky and violent."
"I'm a good person," she added.
Sources say the woman, who left a mostly black country to live in a state with a higher percentage of whites than Ohio and Pennsylvania, lives in constant fear for her life. "Any day, I could get murdered by a white man. One of them might stalk me at night and suck out all my blood like a vampire while shouting 'this is MAGA country.' I think my totally rational fear clearly demonstrates how dangerous white men are."
The congresswoman reiterated that any calls for her to move back to the black nation of Somalia were "racist and sexist" and would "likely result in death."
"If I move back to Somalia I might die," she said. "Because of white men."
At publishing time, Ilhan Omar had accused white men of being the cause of black on black crime, global warming, and her low IQ.
Brynnleigh is on a mission to stop America from becoming… well, America.
