TUSTIN, CA — Attendees of a local conference learned their experience would be much easier after one speaker helpfully announced her Enneagram number so everyone else knew to tune out anything else she said.
The other people present at the gathering were relieved to learn so quickly that nothing else the woman said should be regarded with any level of seriousness after she immediately notified everyone in attendance that she was, in fact, an Enneagram 8.
"Sorry, I'm such a stubborn Enneagram 8!" she shouted as she laughed. "I'm just so headstrong and passionate about my viewpoints, so I end up getting aggressive and arguing with everyone about how…"
The woman continued, but everyone was successfully able to use the information she provided to completely tune out the remainder of her monologue, leading to a far more relaxed and enjoyable experience. "I'm so glad she said that right at the beginning," said one man who was also in attendance. "I was afraid I'd have to sit and listen to her all night long, but once she told us her Enneagram number, we knew we were then free to just mentally disregard everything else she was saying. From that point on, we knew she had nothing of value to offer. We all really appreciated it."
At publishing time, the rest of the evening had gone by smoothly as the woman was blissfully oblivious to the fact that everyone else was completely ignoring her.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.