BERLIN — Historians have uncovered a blue jeans ad featuring Adolf Hitler from 1942.
"Hitler has good jeans," declared the newly-unearthed advertisement, a clarion call for the violent establishment of a dominant Aryan race.
"This blue jeans ad was truly the moment when Hitler's ambitions became clear," said historian Steve Marks. "The jeans, the sexy pose, the open call for eugenics to destroy deplorables... this photograph truly encapsulates the very heart of Naziism. Horrifying."
While scholars have long speculated that Hitler must have modeled blue jeans as part of his fascist rule, the shocking ad has roiled historians. "We always thought blue jeans were a Nazi dog whistle, but now there is proof," said professor Dr. Martin Barnes. "The word jeans is literally a homophone with the word 'genes', which can only mean one thing: jeans want to invade Poland and kill all the gays. We must stop jeans at all costs."
At publishing time, the United Nations had passed a resolution declaring wearing jeans a hate crime.
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