JERUSALEM — Recent discoveries through in-depth study of ancient texts provided new insight into a well-known biblical tale, as scholars now believe that King David's attention was initially captured by Bathsheba's American Eagle jeans.
What was once thought to be a tryst that started when the king saw her bathing on her rooftop was now being viewed in a different light, as extensive research revealed that Bathsheba's jeans were responsible for catching David's wayward eye.
"From what we can tell, Bathsheba had good jeans," said Dr. Ervin Bromstead of the Jerusalem Institute for Bible Discovery. "Inspection of multiple accounts has led us to hypothesize that King David noticed the jeans Bathsheba had purchased from an early American Eagle store in the land of Judah. Once he saw her in those jeans, one thing led to another, and… everyone knows the rest of the story."
The jeans incident reportedly took place shortly before Bathsheba's rooftop bath, leading the scholars to believe that the American Eagle attire bore some of the blame for the king's eventual fall into sin. "He couldn't resist her after seeing those jeans," Bromstead explained. "Men can be very weak under such circumstances, even very mighty men of God. It's understandable how David fell prey to temptation, given the situation."
At publishing time, scholars also discovered evidence that King David's previous wife, Michal, had expressed disdain for him after seeing him dancing publicly in his American Eagle linen undergarment.
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