LOS ANGELES, CA — Amid growing cases of stress and uncertainty around the world, one source of self-comfort once again was found to be undefeated, as one local taco admitted that it had yet to meet an emotional problem it couldn't solve.
According to its own testimony about its history, the taco claimed to have an uncanny ability to bring joy and comfort to anyone, no matter what they were going through in their life or how insurmountable their issues may have seemed.
"Everything else just fades into the background in the presence of a good taco," said the taco. "I don't care if it's relationship issues, the loss of a job, financial struggles, or a crisis of where you fit in the grand scheme of the universe… all it takes is one bite of a taco to make the world seem right again, if only for a brief moment. I know people are going through a lot, but come on… I'm delicious over here."
The taco's claim was verified as true by one satisfied client. "He's not lying," said Jeff Leary, who said his depression had been cured by an encounter with a taco. "It seemed like my life was in shambles. I felt like nothing was going my way. I was ready to just give up and fall into total despair, but I was hungry, and tacos sounded good. Once I took a bite, my whole outlook on the world changed."
At publishing time, the taco expanded his bold claim by adding that pairing him with an ice-cold beer or a glass bottle of Mexican Coke could give any human being a new lease on life.
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