PAMPA, TX—Visibly frustrated local man Peter Elliott lamented about the Trump administration to his wife Friday, comparing the drama unfolding daily in the nation’s capital to “some kind of crazy reality show,” sources reported.
“Seriously, it’s like Survivor or Hell’s Kitchen in our government these days. How did this happen? What’s going on in there?” Elliott complained, describing at the White House turnover rate and rampant treachery occurring regularly.
“You’ve got people getting fired or resigning left and right, all kinds of dirty laundry being aired out in public, expletive-laden rants from top government officials. It’s like every person in the West Wing is walking around with knives in their backs.”
The man reportedly went on to express relief that he did not work in the White House, and thus didn’t have to live in a constant state of panic about losing his job or being subject to a surprise internet flogging by the president or one of his top staff members.
“How did we ever get here?” he wondered aloud, before shaking his head and settling in to watch a few old episodes of The Apprentice.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.