ST. PAUL, MN — Voter turnout for the Minnesota midterms is expected to exceed 130%, sources said.
Election officials believe a myriad of close races is attracting even more attention from voters than usual and it's very likely more people will vote on Election Day than is humanly possible.
Minnesota Secretary of State Steve Simon said, "It shouldn't be possible for this many people to vote, but here we are. Frankly, I think this is a real win for Democracy."
Early voting already accounts for approximately 90% of all legible votes, with more expected on Election Day from Somalis and ghosts voting from beyond the grave.
"Watch out for ghosts! Hahahaha!" warned Minnesota DFL Party Chair Richard Carlbom. "They're gonna' get ya'!"
U.S. Senate candidate Michel Tafoya (R), issued a formal complaint with the governor's office, calling on state officials to secure voter rolls and prevent what she argues is evidence of a rigged election. Gov. Tim Walz responded by calling her a fascist.
At publishing time, the governor's office had assured voters this would be the most secure election ever.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
