CHEYENNE, WY—Local three-year-old Nathan Kennedy was reportedly horrified Friday morning to discover his parents had decorated his room with a haunting depiction of Noah’s ark and the worldwide flood by which God destroyed almost all of humanity.
“Hey, Mom and Dad, do you have to be so morbid?” Kennedy reportedly asked during a “Dora the Explorer” commercial break. “There are hundreds of illustrated Bible stories out there, and you pick the one in which almost every creature on earth was wiped out by drowning as punishment for mankind’s rebellion against the Almighty, showcasing His ultimate power and authority over every living thing?”
“Yeah, sure, that’ll help me sleep at night,” he added, rolling his eyes.
According to Kennedy, the disconcerting and disturbing art was made all the worse by the cutesy, pastel presentation, which just added an “eerie feel” to the room. “I thought about calling protective services, but what a crock that organization is,” he muttered as he dared a glance at the wallpaper showing the destruction of nearly everything on the planet.
At publishing time, Kennedy had decided to “scribble all over” the picture the first time his parents leave a Sharpie unattended, with the hopes that it will force them to redecorate with something “a little less grim.”