Home > Church > Bible On Pulpit Purely Decorative
Church Local
Bible On Pulpit Purely Decorative

CHARLESTON, SC—Local pastor Adam Davis dutifully carries his leather-bound Bible to the pulpit every Sunday morning, and then proceeds to preach for twenty-five minutes without ever opening or referencing the book, sources confirmed Saturday.

“It’s a really nice looking Bible,” one anonymous source told reporters. “Pastor Adam looks good carrying it up there and setting it down gently and reverently. It looks great on the pew. But no—no he never opens it.”

The church member added that Davis regularly preaches his inspiring sermons from pages of notes, wandering around the stage to punctuate his points with a variety of hand and body movements, the expensive study Bible always left on the ornate wooden pulpit, purely as a piece of decor.

“It adds a nice touch of tradition to the atmosphere,” he noted. “It makes things look, you know, official.”

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.

Breaking: Paypal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.