Hillsong United Renegotiates Contract, Will Now Split Glory With God Fifty-Fifty
Celebs · Sep 8, 2016 · BabylonBee.com

SYDNEY, AU - After being stuck in what industry insiders are calling "an unfavorable contract" for nearly two decades, popular celebrity worship group Hillsong United has finally completed negotiations with the Almighty to achieve a more equitable fifty-fifty split of the glory and fame generated by their songs, performances, and movie Let Hope Rise.

"We want Him to increase, and us to decrease," a band spokesperson told reporters. "But not too much. We think this is a very fair deal for both parties. It's a win-win, really." Sources close to the band have revealed that a previous, "predatory" contract had seen God taking nearly all the glory, with the rock artists being left to fight over scraps.

Under the new deal, members of Hillsong United will be allotted a "reasonable" 50% cut of all prestige, honor, and fame, while God would be welcome to the remaining 50%. However, the band will reportedly retain all merchandising rights and royalties from record and ticket sales, as well as income from their film, pending negotiation of additional terms and contract riders.

"We do most of the work, so it's only fair that we get the same amount of recognition and glory," the band rep continued. "I don't mean to belittle God's contributions to our success, but think about it: has He ever nailed the killer solo in 'Hosanna' under the pressure of thousands of screaming worshipers?"

At publishing time, the band's highly publicized contract dispute had inspired other celebrity worship bands like Elevation Worship, NewSpring Worship, and Jesus Culture to file lawsuits seeking to get out of their own record deals which give an unfair portion of the glory to God.


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