SCOTLAND - A local woman has been arrested and charged with committing multiple hate crimes for misgendering her rapist attacker. The woman in question is now facing considerable jail time for insisting that her attacker was in fact a male.
"To get someone's gender wrong against their will is the worst of all hate crimes," ruled Judge Kendall McIverson while sentencing the woman to years behind bars. "Our streets will be a lot safer at night without people like you disturbing the peace."
Her attacker, despite presenting as a tough burly penised individual, has stated that he one time thought for "like, a second" that maybe he could be a woman, but he ultimately changed his mind. This statement immediately elevated the rapist to a protected and oppressed minority.
At the time of publishing, the rapist was released from holding, while officers apologized profusely for the trouble, offering sympathy for what it must be like to endure such a monstrous hate crime.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.